Compare and Contrast
by Emma CS Me
Summary: Bitter: My mother was convicted of killing my best friend, my other friends abandoned me, my reputation was ruined by mistakes and privacy violations, and then one person I thought thought was on my side? Delusional liar." AU - Veronica died instead. FIN
1. Lilly and Veronica

A/N: Yes, this is the long version of "Red and White" which I promised. So everyone who liked that... read this. And don't let me give up on it and forget about it.

**One: Lilly and Veronica**

Neptune, California. Home to the rich, powerful, and pretty. Also home to the poor and powerless, under the thumb of the rich. Neptune had a very defined social order – the rich are in charge, and loved. The poor aren't. But then there was us.

We used to fit into the mold, yeah. We were still rich, but in charge? No way anyone would listen to us on anything. _Loved?_ No way in hell.

"Oh god," Duncan rolled his eyes as he saw the crowd gathered around the flagpole. "Who's your boy tormenting now?"

I shrugged. One of the many problems with dating the leader of a motorcycle gang – he tended to do stupid mean shit. I worked my way through the crowd, seeing some new black kid taped there, buck naked, except for duct tape covering his privates. The bikers had written "SNICH" on his chest, implying A) why he was there, and B) we really need better English teachers.

Some guy was getting the new kid to pose for a photo. "Say cheese," he chirped, holding his phone in front of them. I rolled my eyes.

"Move, douchebag," I informed him, and he seemed amused by my appearance.

"Why, Miss Lillian Kane," the guy mocked me. "What, you're keeping an eye on your boy's prize? He promise you a, uh, 'sample tasting'..." the douche's voice trailed off when I pulled out my pocket knife. Sharp instruments? Good at getting people to shut the fuck up.

I turned my attention to the poor kid on the flagpole. _Must talk to Weevil about this._ "So, you're new here, right?" I said as I cut the tape holding him. The crowd disbursed slowly.

"Welcome to Neptune High. And yes, everyone is as big a shit here as those crowds and the guy who put you up here," I elaborated. No point getting this kid's hopes up. "Some have hidden hearts of gold. Rarely. That actually includes the guy who put you up here, so I should be able to get him to back off," he was freed from the pole, and I gave him a hand down.

The kid smiled at me. "Thanks. Wallace."

"Lilly," I returned. "Though you may have figured that out from that guy before."

"Yeah. He doesn't like you?"

I shrug. "Him and half the country. By the way, the mime behind me? That's my brother, Duncan. He does actually talk... sometimes..."

Duncan chuckled. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Anyway," I continued, "Knowing Weevil, your clothes are gonna be around here somewhere... likely underground."

"Yeah, he put 'em under the dirt," Wallace explained, and I saw a flash of fabric. I pulled his clothes out, and shook the dirt off as best I could. "Uh, there. Kind of sucks for you, but you have clothing now."

Wallace smiled again. "Thanks."

I grinned. We hadn't screwed this up yet. "Anyway, us two have classes to get to, and I really don't think you want us to see you changing, so, yeah. See ya later," I concluded, and Duncan gave a little wave as we walked away.

"Lilly," Duncan said, "Did we just have a conversation with someone who doesn't hate us, that you're not having sex with?"

I laughed at that. "Let's take a few seconds. Let the cosmos realign."

* * *

Our table used to be the popular table. Now it's just us sitting there. The _new_ popular table is just a few feet away, though, so we can see them all, happy and laughing. If you had told me a year ago _this_ would be what would happen to us, I wouldn't believe a word of it. We were the very center of that popular 09er group – I mean we were the Kanes. The two children of software billionaire, Jake Kane – he had invented streaming video, turned half this town into millionaires. The town used to love him for it.

It's not like we were the only insanely rich kids, though. There's still people like Shelley Pomroy, who's Dad was ambassador to Belgium, or Luke Enbom, who's Dad owned his own airline company. You know what I said about Neptune having a lot of millionaires?

There's the Casablancas brothers, of course. Dick pretty much embodied all things about 09ers that sucked – he was completely thoughtless and a borderline sociopath. I didn't like him much. His brother Cassidy, well, no-one really knew him. He didn't seem to really want to be at the 09er table, but I don't think he really wanted to be anywhere else. Cassidy was just tiny and quiet, and no-one saw him. If you blinked at the wrong moment, you might just find him gone. Cassidy Casablancas – the boy who would have been my baby-daddy.

And at the center of all this, there's Logan Echolls. Son of famous actor Aaron Echolls, and less famous actress, Lynn Echolls. If anyone in this damn school hated me, it was him. But he was one of the few people I couldn't blame for it – _I_ hurt him, not my mother. It never used to be like this, of course. He used to be my boyfriend.

All in all, the be at that table, you had to be alarmingly rich, or have an in with those that were. But there was only ever really one girl like that at the table – Veronica Mars. Okay, she had a certain cachet, being the Sheriff's Daughter and all. But it was mostly us – she was my best friend since I was in fifth grade, she and Duncan had been dating since they were in ninth. We were the big reason she was honorarily an 09er. I guess it was ironic she was the reason that we honorarily weren't.

She was found outside our pool. _I_ was lucky enough to be the one to discover her body.

_I'm at my house. I just got a text saying Veronica was coming over, she had to tell me something._

_I'm standing on the patio. "Oi, Veronica! You out here?"_

_It takes a few seconds for me to notice her laying flat on the ground. There's blood pooling around her, and I run up to her in a panic._

"_Veronica!" I scream, and grab her body. "Holy shit, Veronica!" I shake her a few times, getting blood all over me – it's coming from her head. "No, no, no, Veronica, wake up! Please, come on, wake up! Wake up!"_

Dad had told Keith Mars everything – he and Lianne Mars, Veronica's mother, had been high school sweethearts. They had an affair while Lianne was with Keith, and Dad was with my mom. When Duncan started dating Veronica, it became a problem – Dad thought he could be Veronica's father. Mom had always known what happened, and eventually, told Duncan Veronica was his sister. Duncan had told me all this days before Veronica died, but nobody told Veronica – she was just so sweet, and no-one wanted to hurt her.

Somebody leaked the recording, you know, the one the police have to make when interviewing people? Suddenly, everyone knew about the Kane dirty laundry – and popular opinion inverted like _that_. They hated us, and they thought one of us had killed Veronica. Mom's blood-splattered suit was found pretty quickly after that.

She never admitted it was her, of course. She always maintained Keith was setting here up. I didn't buy her bullshit, and neither did Duncan. Poor Duncan blamed himself, of course. As did Dad. I didn't, because I simply couldn't justify feeling guilty about that – this wasn't about me. It amused me a little, however, when the blood tests proved once and for all, Veronica wasn't a Kane.

I snapped out of my reverie to realize that suddenly Duncan and I _weren't_ the only people at our table. It was Wallace, the kid from this morning.

"Damn, I thought the names sounded familiar," Wallace was saying. "You're seriously _the_ Kanes?"

I groaned. "Great. There goes our chance of having someone not hate us."

"Whoa girl, I don't hate you," Wallace chuckled. "I'm guessing you're a bit on the bitter side?"

"My mother killed by best friend because she thought she was product of my dad's cheating," I said dryly. "It happens."

"Look, Wallace," Duncan explained in measured tones. "If you know who we are.. Why are you sitting here with us?"

"Most people run far, far away," I added.

"Okay, the way I see it?" Wallace explained. "So your Mom's a killer? Not your fault. So I don't care. That stuff with Aaron Echolls? Girl, you didn't put them cameras there. And you were kind of in a bad place when you sent those tapes to the tabloids. So it's far from unforgivable. And, take all that baggage away, you two are still the ones that cut me down when I was taped to that poll, while everyone else laughed at me, took pictures of me. So yeah, I reckon I'm better off with you two."

Neither Duncan or I could suppress a grin.

Weevil and the PCHers chose _that_ moment to appear. "My bitch," he said to Wallace, and I rolled my eyes at his badass attitude. "Didn't I tell you to wait for me at the flagpole?"

Wallace laughed nervously. I took pity. "Guess he just didn't listen, then."

Weevil suddenly noticed he was at _my_ table. "Oh, Lil," he said. "What are you doing now? Looking out for some skinny negro, some narc who got us all in this shit?"

I rolled my eyes. "God, Weevil, what are you doing? 'Sides, he doesn't seem to hate me. I'd like to keep it that way. Now stop being a shit, already."

Weevil chuckles. "Come on, sugar, it's too late for that."

I raised an eyebrow. "And... why?"

Weevil laughed and wandered off. "You're gonna have to pick a side, Lilly!"

I blinked. "Okay. That was vague." I looked at Wallace. "'Splain."

"Oh," Wallace said, and I looked on expectantly. "I work at Sac-N-Pac, you see? The other night, a couple of those guys came in, just started stuffing 40s in their pockets like it was _no_ problem. I hit the silent alarm."

I smiled. "Oh, you well-trained store clerk, you."

Wallace continued. "Well, yeah. The police showed up, and then I noticed there was a whole damn gang out there, so I kinda backtracked. Said it was a mistake," I chuckled.

"Okay, I know my Weevil. That? Not really gonna earn his respect."

He looked at me skeptically. "Yeah, whatever. Anyway, that sheriff guy found all those 40s, got the security tape, so those biker guys are still busted. And pissed at me. But that sheriff guy was pretty cool about me lying and all."

I smiled. "That's Ol' Keith Mars. He's kind of just awesome."

"Veronica's dad?"

The sentence caused a lump in my throat, but I kept it under control. "Yeah."

Wallace pressed his lips together. "Yeah, that's... kind of the whole story, then."

I sighed. "When's the court date?"

Wallace shrugged. "I dunno. Why?"

"Problem with having been the Sheriff's daughter's best friend, and currently being girlfriend of the leader of the motorcycle gang? It means I have to work my funky Veronica-stolen magic and get him out of this crap," I explained. "Should also get him to leave you alone, and then I've got like, three people at this school who like me."

* * *

I could figure out my brilliant plan later. I was just getting home for now. Then my getting home process was interrupted by a certain partly justified asshole ex, and his unjustified cronies. _Great._

"What's up, Logan?" I ask. "Your therapist give up and send you in search of an emotional punching bag?"

He laughs at me. "Well, how am I meant to resist? You're just so... punchable," he smirked and we both saw an innuendo in there, though I wasn't quite sure what for.

I climbed into my car. "Logan. Be elsewhere, I don't really feel like putting up your shit now," I paused. "Or, y'know, ever."

"Hmm," he continues, "Where else _exactly_ would you like me to be?" He paused. "I can remember there were a few places you used to _like_ me being..."

I roll my eyes. "_Used_ being the active word here."

Dick Casablancas opened his mouth. Nothing good could come of that: "Come on, man. You know here, that wasn't about you – just give her anything with a dick and she's there."

I sighed. "Yup. That's it. I'm a big old slut, now _go away."_

They didn't seem to hear that last bit. Logan continued. "Anyway, who's it now? That new black kid, the one who doesn't seem to get you're a whore? Maybe I should write him a note."

I nod. "You do that. Don't forget all that stuff about my diseases; it's crucial information."

Logan ignores that. "You just watch out for his girl, if he's got one. Oh, wait – you don't care." There was suddenly pain in his eyes, and probably in mine. I slammed the car door shut on him, and drove off. That was just not fair, when we're just having a pointless snipe-fest, he shouldn't be able to play the "You made my mother kill herself" card.

_I'm at some society function, all the rich families are here. I'm just sixteen, and hanging on Logan's arm. We're happy and giggly._

_His parents approach us. "Ah, Lilly, my parents – who you already know very well, and hence this isn't an introduction."_

_Lynn smiles at me. "Hello Lilly."_

_I smile back. Then Aaron takes my attention. "Hello, Miss Kane. I must say, that dress is... flattering."_

_I laugh and look down at my strapless black dress. "Gucci. You like?"_

_Aaron smiles. "Very much so. I assume my son is in good hands?"_

"_In a manner of speaking."_

_Lynn looks distinctly uncomfortable, and Logan leads me away. "He shouldn't talk to you like that," he mutters, and I roll my eyes._

"_God, Logan. Jealous much? He's like forty. It's nothing," I put an arm around his back. "He's your dad. I've got you."_

_My hand trails on his back, and he winces a little when I hit a particular spot. "What's wrong?" I ask. Logan's back is weirdly vulnerable to making him wince._

_He shakes his head. "Nothing. Just a fall a few days back."_

Okay, when I said the Aaron thing was nothing? Yes, I lied. Still, nothing happened until Logan and I were broken up. Okay, yes, again – we were great at the on-again off-again thing. But we were off and I had a sexy movie star to play with.

"_Hello Lilly," Aaron says. "Logan's in Mexico this weekend, so if you came to see him..."_

"_I know. We're split anyway. For like, two weeks, knowing us," I inform him, and drop myself on the couch, stretching out my legs. He sits with me._

"_Logan told me about that," he replies. "He's been a mess, really."_

_I raise my shoulders. "I'm a heart breaker. He's probably off filling his Lilly-shaped void with some foreign tart."_

_Aaron smiles at me. "So then, Lilly, why are you here? I don't think I have any foreign tarts to fill a Logan-shaped void..."_

_I laugh. "Well, you never know what you'll find. Besides, you're interesting. I thought we could talk?"_

_That seems to flatter him. "Alright then, Miss Kane. You want something to drink? Soda, water?" he rises and walks to the kitchen. I sit there._

"_Orange juice?" I call over my shoulder, and quickly he appears with a glass of it. I take the liquid and sip. That's not just orange juice._

"_Vodka, Mr. Echolls?" I ask, affecting a southern twang for no real reason. "Why, I'd say you were trying to take advantage of me!"_

_He smiles and sits back on the couch._

"_And if I was, Miss Kane?"_

_My breath hitches._ Come on, Lilly, _I think,_ This is what you came here for._ I return his grin._

"_All you had to do was ask."_

_He pulled me into a strong kiss, and all I could see was Logan wincing._

Okay, yes, I screwed my boyfriend's Dad. On-again off-again be damned, that kind of just marks me as big a whore as everyone said. And what happened next kind of made me even worse, not even trying to keep it from Logan. But still, I really couldn't anticipate what would happen next.

_I'm lying on the bed in the Echolls' pool house. Aaron's late. I look up at the ceiling. God, can he just get here so I can have crazy hot movie-star tabloid-fodder sex?_

_Looking up at the ceiling, I notice something on the fan. The center looks odd – it looks like a lens. I follow the line from the lens, and to the wall. The wall also looks odd, sort of disconnected. Like it can be slid away._

_I get up and slide that piece of wall away. Oh god. Behind here, there are camera screens, and _tapes_. Aaron taped our sexy fun times._

_I chuckle to myself. "Oh, you dirty bastard," I say quietly, and taking the tapes and closing the wall covering, I exit stage left._

I found those tapes the day before I found Veronica, but didn't release them until after Mom's arrest. Everyone hated us anyway, I might as well air this dirty laundry _now._ The tabloids offered me so much money for those tapes, but I didn't take it. I wasn't really sure why, and I wasn't sure why I was doing all this, but I couldn't take money for it – all I could see when they offered it was Logan wincing at me.

The scandal was _epic_, of course. Maybe the extent of my sluttiness wasn't as big a shock as everyone liked to pretend it was, but still – Aaron Echolls screwing his son's girlfriend made the media go crazy. It felt like victory, sort of, when I saw the press screaming at him, though I couldn't tell you why.

It didn't feel like victory, however, when I saw Lynn's Echolls car abandoned on the Coronado Bridge, plastered across my TV screen.

"_Lilly?" Duncan calls to me, and he sounds shook up. Like his voice is breaking. "You gotta see this."_

_I trot into the room, concern on my face. "Donut, what is it?" he points at the TV, where I see a red car on a bridge. I _know _that car._

"_The actress is assumed to have leaped to her death following recent scandal, after sixteen year old Lilly Kane released tapes of Lynn's husband, Aaron Echolls, having sex with her, to the media. Lynn references these tapes, and her husband's infidelity, in a suicide note left on her Blackberry..."_

_I can feel my whole world go black._

I never thought something like that could happen. I never even thought of Lynn in all this – I'd had to spend a lot of energy to keep Logan's image out of my mind, but Lynn? Never even occurred. But she never seemed like the suicidal type. Shows how well I knew people, huh?

_I'm at school. Logan's finally returned from his "My Mom Just Died" break, and he's standing far away from me. What a shock._

_I sigh, and close my locker. I have to talk to him. "Logan?" I call after him, and he starts to walk away. "Logan!" I call again, and start to jog to catch up with him._

_I'm suddenly standing in front of him, with no real words to say. "Logan," I start, tearful. "I am... _so_ sorry. I had no idea-"_

"_Lilly," he cuts me off, and his voice gets very quiet. "Stay away from me and my family from now on, or I'll kill you."_

_He walks off, and it's _over.


	2. The Bitch Was Born

**Compare And Contrast**

**Two: The Bitch Was Born**

So, yeah. Of the many people who hated me, Logan Echolls was the most justified of them. And also the least Veronica centric of them, so you see the connection there?

I opened the door to our mansion, and saw the help bustle around a bit. I didn't pay much attention to them mind, I went off upstairs to find Duncan.

I caught him in front of the TV in one of our many lounge rooms. "Donut!" I called out and sat myself down next to him. He sighed.

"From the inflection in your voice, I assume you're about to ask for something. Again," he mocked me, and I socked him on the arm.

"Hey, I'm just looking for a little helpful advice from someone who can actually think practically."

He raised his arms. "Ask away."

"How do I get Weevil out of _this _thing?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "You really have to talk with your boyfriend about this whole "getting arrested" thing."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know, whatever. How do I do it?"

Duncan sighed. "Well, pretty much the whole case rests on Wallace, and that security tape."

"Well, it's not exactly like Wallace will do the whole testimony thing... so I've just got to get that tape?" I asked, and Duncan smiled.

"I'm fairly sure you could have figured that out on your own, Lilly."

"I know," I say. "But I have to let you feel your existence is justified sometimes," I say, and he laughs as I saunter off to plot and plan.

So, how to get that tape? I wasn't sure.

* * *

I suddenly had a plan. A plan that required a visit to the local fire department.

"Fireman Sam!" I called out to my target. He smiled.

"I assume that was in reference to me, despite sounding nothing like my name..."

I shrug. "It has an A in it. I'm a busy girl!"

He laughs. "I assume you need a favor?"

I look down sheepishly. "Sorry, Pat. How did you get to know me so well?"

He shrugs. "I have actually met you, so, y'know. What do you need and is it illegal?"

I scrunch my face up. "Yeah, I think so."

"It's your boyfriend?"

I shrug. "Love makes me evil."

* * *

Sometimes the few people who still love Dad? Were useful. Not useful in the "figuring out where on Earth he is" sense, but still, useful.

I hadn't seen my father since January.

_I'm at home, in my bed. I wake up to see a note, and a locket on my dresser across from me. I drag myself out of bed to read the note._

"_Dear Lilly,_

_I love you. I hope you always know that. This must seem strange to you, but what I'm doing now shouldn't make you think for a second that I don't love you. I'm doing this because I love you. And I'm doing this because you loved Veronica._

_I know she's what you see when you look at me. I don't blame you for blaming me – I blame myself. Lilly, all I can bring to you is pain. I know with me around, you'll never let go of what happened to her. And I can't bring myself to do that to you. You still have all my money, and I trust you and Duncan to take care of one another. I am still surprised at how I created two such wonderful children. Maybe one day I'll come back. But not soon. I'll be there when it will be best for you._

_Love,_

_Your father."_

_I throw the note and the locket in the bin._

It's funny how close that was to my fourth big mess – just a few days apart. Not a good time.

* * *

At school, I was leading Wallace about. We were there to see Vice Principal Clemmons opening up Logan's locker in a "random" drugs search. This was part one of saving Wallace and Weevil, and pissing off your asshole ex without having to feel inordinately guilty about it? Bonus.

The locker opened, while I snickered. Clemmons and the deputy saw the image of a bong there, so they weren't too happy.

"Mr. Echolls," Clemmons said sternly. "This appears to be a device used to smoke marijuana... any explanation, as to why it's in your locker?"

Logan's eyes searched around until they fell on me. "Lilly," he chortled. I raised my eyebrows.

"Who, me? I'm just an innocent bystander."

"Well aren't you cute? I'm going to get you for this. I know it was you, Lilly... I'll get you..."

I roll my eyes. "Is there anything you _don't_ blame me for?"

Clemmons and the deputy led Logan away, as I turned to Wallace and we both cracked up. "Okay, that was fun," he commented.

"Wasn't it?"

We were approached by Duncan. "Lilly, tell me you're not framing your ex for drug possession."

I shrugged. "Okay. I'm not framing my ex for drug possession – but seriously Duncan, we all know I am."

He sighed at me.

"Relax, Donut. It's part A of the plan to save Wallace's life," I explained. "He's Aaron Echolls son. It's not like he'll get in trouble for it. The wonder of Neptune – Keith can only do so much."

Duncan gives an odd half-smile. "Just tell me I am at no point part of this plan?"

I scoffed at that. "Please. I'm breaking like, three laws here. Like you'd help."

Duncan shook his head. "That shouldn't be comforting. But it is."

* * *

Part B of the plan to save Wallace's life had us both in a car parked outside the Neptune Sheriff's department, controller in his hand.

"You know," he informed me, "We could get in a lot of trouble for this."

I rolled my eyes. "You just figure that out? Gimme," I reached out for the controller, but he pulled away.

"I'm gonna do it," he said. "I just, y'know, one of us should state the obvious."

"...Why?"

He shrugged.

I sighed and sat back in my seat. "Just make it go boom, brainbox."

"We're not setting the damn place on fire, you know," but he followed my instruction and pressed the button on the controller. "Now we just have to see if it works."

It took a few minutes for the fire trucks to arrive.

I grinned. "It worked."

* * *

"Fireman Sam!" I called out. "How's my favorite aider and abettor?"

"Unappreciated," he complained as he handed me the tape. "I could get in a lot of trouble for this, you know."

"Well, yes. That's why it's illegal. I owe you one."

"You actually owe me more like 53, but who's counting?"

I laughed and slapped him on the arm as I walked away.

* * *

Not many pretty blondes feel comfortable walking into the middle of a motorcycle gang. I was just special that way.

"Ah, Lilly girl. A little birdie told me... that the Sac-N-Pac video tape just disappeared," Weevil greeted. "What do you think about that?"

I nodded. "Aren't you lucky?"

Weevil chuckled. "You got some skill, girl."

"That's what he said. Now, uh, there's this problem – you kind of taped my friend over here to a flagpole. And I thought, you know, maybe you should apologize? Since we're all in such good will and all."

Weevil laughed. "Come on, Lilly. You know me. No apologies."

I shrugged. "Fine. He's just the only person with the Sac-N-Pac tape, so, y'know." I paused, and turned to Wallace. "Should we go decide what to do with it?"

He shrugged, and we turned to leave. "Wait, wait, wait," Weevil stopped us. "I'm sorry man... For taping you to the flagpole and all."

Wallace shrugged. "Sure, whatever."

"Can I have the tape back now?"

"No."

They both looked at me. "Hey, not my problem. I was just the creature of awesome that made it happen."

Weevil chuckled. "Lilly, get him to hand it over."

I raised my hands. "Not my problem," _pause. "_Okay, Wallace, give it."

"...No."

I shrugged. "Oh well."

Wallace and I wondered off. "So, I am fabulous – yes or yes?"

Wallace laughed. "Whatever you say. What's the story with you two anyway?"

My face twisted. "Me and Weevil?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, I haven't known you all that long, but you don't exactly seem like the biker kind of girl, so...?"

"Oh," I paused. "It's really not that great a story. We had a thing, like, ages ago, before my whole life went to hell. Then everything went down and everyone hated me, and he sort of swooped in and still loved me – so, we got back together."

Wallace nodded. "Oh. Just wondered. Not even really my business."

I shrugged. "Eh, whatever. If you're gonna know me, you should know my life."

* * *

The attack of pissed off 09ers was somewhat unexpected. Probably shouldn't have been, given I framed their leader for possession, but hey, I wasn't having a terrible day for once – was it so bad I expected it to stay that way.

So, seeing Logan and cronies, and tire iron, hanging around my car? Bad.

"Logan. What are you doing now?" I spat at him.

He shrugged and walked closer to me. "Oh, I thought we could talk. Y'know, about your latest stunt. You know what that cost me?"

I tried not to think about that. "Well, pretty sure you won't be getting your bong back."

In a split second, Logan used the tire iron to smash my headlights in. _Holy shit._ "Wrong answer."

"...You're fucking psycho, you know that, right?"

He then whacked the damn thing over my bonnet. "Let's try again."

I nodded. "Stand by my second answer. You're insane."

Logan smirked at me, and drove the blade of the tire iron into the bonnet. _C... U..._

Suddenly, in came the Big Damn Heroes, ie. My scary boyfriend and his gang. "Yeah, she is cute, isn't she?" Weevil accused, standing by my side and wrapping an arm around me. "Now do you have a problem with her?"

Logan looked harshly at us. "I have a few problems with her."

Weevil stepped in front of me. "Well, buddy, you're just going to have to _suck it up_. I've told you man – you don't lay a hand on her again."

Logan snorted. "Well, haven't you got this whole story sorted out. Maybe you can tell all this to your kid – oh, wait, sorry. Never mind."

I winced. Not fair, bringing up.

"You know that wasn't mine. Now leave."

The 09ers laughed and gradually wondered off. I groaned as I looked at my car. "Fuck it. This is gonna take _forever_ to fix."

Weevil shrugged. "I'll get it done quick."

"That's what she said."

"Hey man," Wallace butted in. "That was cool. Here man," he handed over the tape. Weevil looked a little off-put.

"Thanks."

I smiled at them. "See, if I sit here being fabulous long enough, my problems just go away on there own." I looked back at my car. "Except, y'know, this."

Wallace smiled. "I'll give you a ride home, girl."

"I'll take it to my uncle's autoshop."

"I'm actually having a good day," I gave Weevil a kiss. "See you soon."

Wallace and I wondered off to his car. "So... a kid?"

I sighed. "Not even gonna bother with the small talk, huh?"

Wallace looked awkward. "Never mind. So not my business."

"It's cool. The whole town knows this story – Lilly Kane got pregnant, had an abortion, some douche was nice enough to take pictures of me at the clinic, and send them to the whole town."

"You have the worst luck ever."

"I know."

"So," Wallace continued, clearly caught between curiosity and respect. "It wasn't his? Weevil?"

I looked away. "It was before we got back together," _pause._ "I don't know whose it was."

Okay, lie. But if no-one else knows that, he sure won't. I'm the only one who gets to know who got me pregnant, and why.

I went to a party at Shelley Pomroy's a couple of months after Veronica died. I went there just to show them they couldn't affect me with their bitching and backstabbing, I was still Lilly Kane, and Lilly Kane was fabulous. Lilly Kane also got really, really drunk.

_I'm at the party, stumbling into Shelley's guest bedroom. _Must lie down,_ I think._ Must not throw up.

_I'm lying over the bed when three people – the Casablancas brothers, and some other guy – enter. "Well look who's here," Dick steps forward and mocks me. "The town whore. What's a matter, Lilly? Waiting for some guy to reel in?"_

_I roll my eyes. _Good old Dick Casablancas, proving parents psychic since 1988. _I pause. _Hey, I'm wasted. Why not be the slut they think I am?

"_Mind your own business, Dick," I shuffle on my side, and look up at him. "If I _was _town whore? You could never afford me."_

_Pause._

"_Okay, corny line, I know."_

_Beav speaks up. "Come on, Dick, man – leave her alone."_

_Dick laughs, and runs a hand over my cheek. I shake him off. "Is that what you want, Lilly? To be alone?"_

_I shake my head. "Okay, too wasted for questions like that."_

_Beav steps forward. "Come on, man, let's just go."_

_Dick looks at him oddly, and stands. "Maybe not, man," he suddenly shoves Beaver on to the bed. "Hey Lilly! Beav here seems to be looking out for you – maybe you should thank him?"_

"_Maybe I will."_

_Dick and the other guy laugh. "Come on, man, we're clearly not needed here."_

_The other guy pauses as they leave, and throws something onto the bed. "Make sure you suit up – you don't know where she's been."_

_They go and suddenly it's just Beaver and me, and he looks damn near terrified._

"_I should just..." he starts to stand. "I should... go," I grab his hand._

"_I was going to thank you?"_

Hey, why not?

_I lead him back onto the bed, sit up and smile at him. "It's okay."_

_He looks at me. "This is a bad idea."_

_I shrug. "I know," I lean closer, and kiss him softly. "It is me doing it, after all."_

_He doesn't respond, and I sit back. "You okay?"_

_He gives me a weak smile. "Yeah," he leans in, and kisses me. We fall back on the bed._

Okay, yeah, weird night there. Weird night that was fuel for a weird morning after.

_I wake up swimming in a hangover. _I fucking hate 09er parties.

_It takes me a couple of seconds to turn and see the boy on my left, who is staring at the ceiling and has tears in his eyes. _Okay, apparently I wasn't that good last night. _"Morning Beav."_

_He doesn't respond._

_I rub my head. "God. Alcohol is evil," he still doesn't say anything. "Hey, last night – I was wasted, you were wasted – tell me, did we remember to... you know, protect?"_

_He still doesn't answer me. This is getting annoying._

"_Okay, words. They are occasionally useful."_

_Suddenly those tears in his eyes are actually falling. Something is _up.

"_You okay?"_

_Still, no answer. I want to ask him what's wrong, but I don't. I drag myself out of the bed and reach for my clothes._

"_Bye Beaver. It was fun."_

"_My name is Cassidy."_

_I nod._

I never called him Beaver again.

I didn't really think much of that night right after it happened. A drunken one night stand at a party with a guy I vaguely knew? Not exactly the first time it's happened. However, I kind of had to think about it when I went to the doctor and found two things out – firstly, I had chlamydia. Which was surprising, annoying and kind of funny. Cassidy Casablancas wasn't exactly the give-you-an-STD type, and I'd actually thought he was a virgin. Shows how I knew people. The second bit was just scary – I was pregnant.

It didn't take much soul searching before I just decided to abort. I couldn't be a mother, not after what had happened with mine. I didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy – I didn't want them to worry, and honestly, I didn't want to run the risk of someone telling me not to do it. Because I wouldn't be able to if someone told me not to.

I don't know who took the pictures, or why. I guessed there were a lot of people who hated our family, and I could be bothered depressing myself figuring out _which one_ hated me that much.

Wallace and I kept sitting in the car. "Okay, incredibly uncomfortable personal question two: "Lay a hand" on you?"

I laughed a little nervously. "_Not_ what it sounds like."

Wallace looked on expectantly. I shuffled a little in my seat. "Okay, the time of my first thing with Weevil? It was right after Logan and I had broken up for the gazillionth time. And it was also when I had been really clumsy and gotten myself all these bruises. Weevil put two and two together, got five."

Wallace nodded. "So... where did you get those bruises, then?"

I shuffled some more. "Just, falls and stuff," he didn't get to hear about all that yet. No-one got to hear about all that. It wasn't like me being abused – Duncan couldn't control his fits, it was freaking epilepsy. It just sort of happened.

* * *

Wallace dropped me off at the grand Kane house. "Our lives are _so_ alike, you know that? My house is just like yours."

I smile at him and climb out of the car. "Thanks, Wallace. See you."

He drives off and I see another car in our driveway. "Keith!"

He grins at me. "I bring tales of the outside world."

"Has it stopped hating us yet?"

He shrugs. "Not quite."

I give him a hug anyway.

So no, I wasn't _quite_ just a bitch and a slut.


	3. Kane's Unable

**Three: Kane's Unable**

"This is a weird school. Who the hell makes party invitations in code?" Wallace asked. "Seems a bit against the point."

I laughed. "That's the 09ers. The code is to keep undesirables – ie, us – away," I paused. "But it won't really work with me, 'cause, hey, used to rule this school."

Wallace smiled and looked at the invitation. "So, Your Majesty – mind spillin' what all this means?"

I looked at the invitation. _That's not good_. "Ah."

"...That sounds like a bad "ah.""

I nodded. "It is. This party's on the beach – Dog Beach. That's Weevil's beach."

Wallace nodded with me. "Yeah. I've got the duct-tape marks that tell me he's not gonna be happy."

I looked up at him. "Well, bright side – if you were planning on crashing, you've got backup."

He looked quizzical. "It's a party. How dangerous can it be?"

"You haven't been in Neptune long."

* * *

"Weevil, this is a bad idea," I told him. "This is sort of just everything a good idea is, inverted. So yeah."

Weevil rolled his eyes. "What? Lilly, you really expect me to be scared of these pansy-ass white boys?"

I raised an eyebrow. "The party's sex-segregated? Anyway, I just don't really want to piss them off. So can we just let them have a freaking party?"

He shaked his head. "Lilly girl – this is _our beach_. You really expect me to just take that lying down?"

"Weevil. It's a beach. Not exactly private property."

He sighed. "You still don't get it."

No. I don't.

"_Lilly, this is a bad idea. Some part of you must see this is a bad idea," Veronica is insisting._

"_Well, yeah, duh. But it wasn't my idea, it was Logan's. So we should show."_

_Veronica gets up. "Well, yeah. Logan has a deathwish – it's the PCHers beach. Like, "icepick through your skull" PCHers."_

_I roll my eyes. "Come on, V. They can't be that scary – I've met that Weevil guy, he's cool. We'll be fine. 'Sides, your like, the sheriff's daughter, and I'm a Kane, so hurting us? Bad plan." _

"_Still believe this is a bad idea. And you and Logan are split, so why do we owe him?" Veronica asks._

"_I'm trying to do the whole friendly breakup thing. Showing for his party? Sounds like a good first step to me."_

"_You want him back?"_

"_Shut up."_

* * *

I wrapped my arms around Weevil a little tighter. Sometimes, being a biker's girlfriend had perks – like, for instance, I got to live out the cliché pose on the back of the bike. "This is still a bad idea," I whisper in his ear.

"You love it."

The gang pulled up and walked onto the beach. A few of the PCHers started messing with everyone, and Weevil grabbed a beer. "Mmm," he mocked. "This stuff is good. Is this imported?"

Logan stared down at him, arm around Caitlin Ford. Weevil continued. "So, uh, let me ask you something. Have I ever asked if you if I could come play through at Torrey Pines? Have you ever run into me surfing down at Cape Crescent? Have you ever even once come home to find us throwing the kegger in your backyard? No? Then what the hell do you think you are doing on our beach?"

Logan snorted. "Oh. Terrifying. I'm shaking in my boots."

There was a pause before Logan continued. "Hey – here's a fun question. Who here's been to my house?"

_Logan don't you dare..._

"Caitlin?"

She nods, and Logan goes on. "Okay, so it's very clean, huh? Well that's because Weevil's grandma keeps it that way. She's a good little worker, spick and span..."

"Okay!" I exclaimed. "Boys – I've checked. You're the same size. Quit it already."

Logan looks down at me. "Lilly. And... what exactly are _you_ doing here?"

I shrugged. "I'm with him," I indicated at Weevil. "Anyway, want to check on everyone who hates me – Caitlin? Really, Logan?"

She looked mildly offended, and Logan stepped closer to her. "And you're judging?"

"Not really. Just – blonde, dumb, slutty. You miss me or something?"

He laughed before we were interrupted by the call of the police. "IDs out where I can see 'em," I heard Deputy Lamb's voice call out. No-one listened of course – we all just left, me hopping on Weevil's bike and trying not to think about the 09ers' last party on that beach.

_I'm standing and laughing with Logan, Veronica by my side. She's laughing too, almost having gotten over her nervousness about this beach. Almost._

_Our talks are interrupted by the appearance of the PCHers. Veronica's eyes go wide, and I bite my lip._

_Logan looks at Weevil. "What, Paco?"_

"_This is our beach."_

_Logan nods. "...and?"_

_I roll my eyes. This cannot end well. "God. Try not to have a whole territory thing, okay, we are not dogs."_

_Weevil looks at me. "I would be too sure for some of us – but hey, I heard you two split."_

_I shrug. "Friendship. It's terrifying, I know."_

_He snorts. "Like I care."_

_Veronica grabs my arm. "This was a terrible idea," she says rather loudly._

_I look back at her. "Chill V. And, uh, that kinda sounded like a whispering thing, so – say it quiet."_

_Veronica shrugs. "Whatever. Okay, uh, guys – sorry about, uh, taking your beach or whatever. Won't happen again. So can you just... go, let us have our party, okay?"_

_I smile at her. "Oh, Veronica Mars – our little diplomat."_

"_Sheriff's daughter. Now shush it before they put an icepick in my skull."_

_Weevil laughs at her. "An icepick? Really?"_

"_Do you have an icepick?" I ask him. "Sweetie, I'm not a diplomat like her. I'm just a bitch. So move it, buddy," I push him away with a hand on his chest, but he catches my wrist._

"_What happened to your arm, girl?" he's looking at the faint bruises on it, and at the back, Duncan looks down. _Fuck, _I think. I shake his hand off._

"_Nothing," Weevil looks up at Logan, who just looks confused. Weevil looks judgmental._

_I bite my lip. "Hey, did you... not hear me, about the leaving thing?"_

_He laughs again. "And if I don't leave, what exactly are _you _going to do about it?"_

What the hell, _I think. I step closer to him, and he looks a little off-put. "Depends," I pause, and lay a hand on his chest again. "What will you let me do?"_

_Gasps and cat-calls resound throughout the crowd. Logan and Veronica both look at me like they can't believe it. Weevil steps away. "Whatever. This doesn't happen again, you hear?" he and his club ride off, and I get myself another drink._

_Veronica grabs my arm. "What the hell was that about?"_

_I scrunch up my face. "Not entirely sure. Mostly just getting them to go away, though."_

_Veronica looks at me skeptically. "...That was so not a good idea."_

* * *

"_Well, yes. It was _my _idea."_

I was at Weevil's house, slouched over his couch. He had an arm around me, and we were just sitting there as we were interrupted by a knock on the door. His cousin Chardo opened it, only for the cops to burst in. _What the hell?_

Weevil stood straight up. "Hey man, what are you doing in my house?" he asked, bitterness in his voice. _Weevil, what did you do now?_

Strangely enough, Deputies Lamb and Sacks weren't looking at Weevil. They were looking at his grandmother. "Letticia Navarro," Lamb began, "You are under arrest for credit card fraud. You have the right to remain silent..."

* * *

_I repeat: What. The. Hell?_

I walked into the Sheriff's department, getting dubious looks from the deputies. I ignored them and walked to Keith's office, where he sat at his desk.

"Keith!" I called out. "How's life on the right side of the tracks?"

"Virtuous," he replied. "What can I do for you, Lilly?"

I took a seat. "Okay, my boyfriend's grandma just got arrested for credit card fraud. Mind breaking your objective officer-of-law status, giving me the low down?"

Keith sighed and sat back in his chair. "Someone took credit card offers out of the Echolls family trash – rang up charges."

I raised an eyebrow. "And you... _seriously_ think it was sweet old Letty?"

He shook his head. "No. I believe it was her grandson, your boyfriend, Lilly – I'm sorry. But we have no evidence directly tying him to it."

I was confused for a second. "And arresting his grandma does... what?"

Keith shrugs. "It could result in confession. It gives us freer reign to investigate."

I nodded. Policemen actually have to do their jobs, and sometimes, that kind of sucks. "Okay, feel free to dismiss this as the delusions of a girlfriend, but – it wasn't Weevil."

Keith sighs and leans forward. "Listen to this list of charges, Lilly - half dozen video games, limo rides, Magic Mountain tickets, motorcycle gear..."

I shook my head. "'Kay. Not sure what's going on, but I know my Weevil – pretty criminal, but I know how he feels about white collar crime. This is so not his style."

Keith looks up at me. "Lilly, as the closest thing to a parental figure you have – get a new boyfriend."

I walked away. "I can prove him innocent," but Keith's comment, well-intentioned it was, stung a little.

Because clearly, _Weevil_ was the one who didn't deserve _me._

_I'm wondering away from school. Got stuck late in detention. I am surprised to find Weevil interrupting my exit._

"_Hey Lilly," he smiles at me. I smile back._

"_Hey Weevil, who I barely know and – why are you talking to me?"_

_He shrugs. "You seem interesting..."  
_

"_You think I'm hot?" I ask him, and he laughs. "Most guys do. It happens."_

_He looks down at me. "Well, uh, you did make some implications last Saturday..."_

_I shrug. "I know. No-one seems to have noticed I'm the town whore yet."_

_Weevil's eyes are drifting back to my arms, which I pull closer to my body. "Okay, enough with the arm thing. Business – mind own."_

_Weevil's face twists. "Can't do that girl. No-one puts their hands on a girl like you, not Movie Star Jnr."_

_I roll my eyes, but my blood starts pumping a little faster. _Calm. _"God, Logan didn't do this – it's just like, from falls and stuff."_

_There's a pause. I speak again._

"_Girl like me?"_

_He smiles. "Do I really need to explain?"_

_For some reason, I feel a little nervous. Then he presses his lips to mine briskly. I stay in almost comical silence for a few second._

"_...Huh?"_

_He smirks at my confusion. "Generally, it takes a bit more to get a girl like that. It's more like..." he leans down for another kiss, not brisk at all this time – it's all tongue and lips, and really fun, but probably not something I should advertise. So I pull away._

"_Okay, Weevil... This is not the best place," I say, and open the door to my car. "Need a ride?"_

_Hey, the bad boy thing is sexy._

I paused on my way out. I turned back to Keith.

"Mind giving me that bill?"

* * *

I sat at home, going over the bill. Well, the purchases hardly suggested Letty was the culprit. But, no, I would not believe Weevil would do this. He did not believe in white collar crime.

My going over was interrupted by his entrance. "Lilly – tell me you can help?"

I shrugged. "Maybe, I dunno. I've got the bill – these purchases seem more pointing at you than anything, so..."

Weevil shook his head. "I didn't do this, Lilly girl."

I nodded. "I know. And I don't believe for a second your sweet old grandma did it. But, uh, thing is – there aren't a lot of other suspects." I paused. "Well, it's possible like, Logan did it to set you up, but it doesn't seem his style, and I don't think he would bother."

Weevil paused at the mention of Logan. "Well, Lilly, that's all nice, but I'm not the one in prison. Got anything to get her out?"

I pursed my lips. "Hey... Here's something. Reservation for the Neptune Grand, room 316."

"So?"

I look up at him. "Well, it's a Hotel, it has to have security footage of some kind. We see that, we see who was in that room – we have ourselves a Bad Guy."

Weevil smiles and presses his lips to my forehead. "That's my girl."

Yes. Yes I am.

"_Okay, Lilly..." Veronica says with that teasing tone in her voice. "You must tell me."_

_I blink at her a little. "Tell you?"_

"_About the new guy!" she gushes. I both roll my eyes, and my heart blood runs faster. _Oops. _"You haven't told me anything."_

"_Veronica, there is no new guy. I am a free wolf, a liberated woman..." I lie, and Veronica raises an eyebrow._

"_Lilly, the sneaking around, the happy grin? That's my New Guy Lilly. I know you."_

"_You are seriously paranoid," I tell her. _That's how she figured it out? Because I'm happy?

"_So, it's someone you think I'd disapprove of... Which is most of the school, really. So, wild guess – Casey Gant?"_

"_Taken. And, Douchey."_

"_Michael Brokerfield?"_

"_He came out two weeks ago, get with the program."_

"_Dick Casablancas?"_

"_Do you want me to throw up?"_

"_Batman?"_

_I stare at her and she laughs. "V, you really need a hobby," I tell her._

_We are interrupted by the PCHers heading our way. _God, Weevil, I told you not to talk to me at school. _Veronica kind of... whimpers, but I stand tall._

"_Wow," Weevils says. "Look at them – two sweet blondes in the prime of their life, anyone want to take a picture?"_

"_I don't give my picture to gangs," Veronica explains, and we all chuckle. "I got into that whole mess in Moscow with that."_

_I stand a little taller. "Weevil, why are you here?"_

_He shrugs. "Figured we could talk."_

_I look back at Veronica. "We could. We could also not."_

_Veronica and I walk away from him. _Ice bitch, _I think._

* * *

The Neptune Grand had the didn't impression of a hotel trying to seem nicer than it was. I wondered, given this was Neptune where half the population were millionaires, why we didn't have a fancier hotel. The Neptune Grand was fine, and I had stayed there many times, but it really didn't seem to fit with the extreme riches of upper class Neptune.

It didn't really matter. I approached the server's desk. "Uh, hi..."

"How may we help you?" the generic girl behind the counter asked me.

"I, uh, have a problem. You see... I'm pregnant. I would have come in here, about a month ago, with some guy... but, uh I don't remember the guy's name. Or, uh, what he looks like. So, if you had like, security footage... we were in room 316, I have my bill..."

The server looked at me skeptically. "You don't remember the man's name, yet you know the room number?"

I bit my lip. Okay, time for Plan B.

"You're right," I let tears well in my eyes. "I'm not pregnant. Somebody," I take a deep breath. "Somebody... drugged, and raped me. And that room, is where I woke up. I _need_ to know who it was."

The server looked at me with pure pity in her eyes, and I felt a little guilty. Imitating pregnant sluts was one thing, something I had experience in, but rape victims? Something else altogether. I shrugged the guilt off. I was trying to rescue innocent people from prison, after all.

The server beckoned, and I followed her into a large, dark room with rolls of film. "We're usually not meant to show these to anyone who asks, but..." She trailed off, and I, in character, looked down. "Anyway," she handed a roll to me, and fuck, it was heavy. "These cameras take a picture every fifteen seconds, this roll documents from the start of last September, to the end of last month. It starts at the end of the footage, so it should take long to find what you're looking for, but... just... roll it back to the start when you're done. It'll reset and that will be so much easier for us."

I nodded. She looked uncomfortable. "I'll... give you your privacy."

I placed the roll down, and quickly rolled to the date I saw on the credit card bill. I was a little disappointed when I saw Caitlin Ford outside the door. _Oh, Logan. You're going downhill._

I scrolled past a few more pictures, and I saw a guy with Caitlin. But it wasn't Logan. Oh no. Yet again, Logan's blonde rich hot girlfriend was running off with some biker.

"Chardo?" I said under my breath, then I got my camera out. I took a picture of their photo, and then I started to scroll back to the start of the roll.

My breath caught when I got to October, and suddenly saw my _mother._ I tried to shake it away – she wasn't in prison then, she could do what she liked – but the picture made me pause. Then I looked at the date.

_03/10/2003, 14:16._

That made me gasp. _What?_

It didn't make sense. The Neptune Grand was a half-hour drive from the Kane estate, even if you broke as many road traffic laws as I did. With my mother's cautious driving, it would probably take longer.

So, someone explain – how did she get from the Neptune Grand, half an hour away, back to our house by 2:25, in time to take a blunt instrument to my best friend's skull?


	4. You Think You Know Something

**Four: You Think You Know Something**

I sped away from the Neptune Grand, knuckles turning white on the steering wheel. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible. My mother killed my best friend. I knew that.

I tried not to shudder about what it would mean if she didn't – Veronica's true killer would still be out there, and I would have been the bitch who abandoned her own mother for no reason.

I breathed heavily. I decided not to think about it. I did have another case to worry about.

Chardo Navarro was a dead man.

* * *

I confronted him the next day at school, by dragging him into the girls' room. Wasn't going to give off a great impression, but oh well. "So, Chardo, do you just want to make a token entry into this town's "awful to your family" competition?"

"What?"

"Okay, I don't think you could beat us or the Echollses, but still, letting your grandma take the fall for credit card fraud? _Low."_

He looks down. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Your clichéd liar-body language tells me otherwise. And, uh, you also stole a guy's girlfriend. Which is just douchey."

Chardo shook his head. "And how are you planning on proving I had anything to do which this?"

"By procuring photographic evidence you were the one in that hotel room a month ago?" I explain, and he looks worried. I pull out my phone and show him the photo. "Now, the thing is – I know your grandma. Sweet lady, though I don't think she likes me very much. So you're going to go confess and get her the fuck out of jail. Mm'kay?"

Chardo sighed. "No, Lilly – I've got a plan. Me and Caitlin? We're running away. Once we're gone, I'll send a confession back, and they'll let her go."

I snorted at that. "Wow. I never knew gang members could be so naive. Caitlin Ford is _never going to run away with you."_

He looked angry. "You don't know her – me and her, we're in love."

"Chardo, did you forget how we met? I _was_ her!" There was a brief pause. "She's just a spoiled rich girl who's had the whole world handed to her on a platter, and now, she thinks she can do anything. She likes excitement, and doing you was just something she shouldn't be doing, and that's all it was to her. Ain't no crime that can fix that."

Chardo snorted at me. "And so, I should keep you the hell away from my cousin, then?"

I looked down. Yeah, backed myself into a corner with that one.

"Things changed, remember?" I looked him in the eye. "I lost everything, everyone who loved me... except him. He stood by me, he didn't care about me being a slut and a bitch – he always knew that. I love Weevil, because Weevil loved me. I don't think that's gonna happen to Caitlin Ford, and I don't think you've got what it takes to stand by her."

"You're wrong," he didn't sound in any way sure about it.

I bit my lip. "I suggest you go to the Sheriff."

* * *

I ran into Caitlin a bit later. "Are you going to run away with Chardo Navarro?"

She looked taken aback. "What? Uh, no. What the hell?"

I smiled at her. "Sweetie, I have proof you were in a hotel room with him – the same room from the whole fraud thing – and me and him, we had a chat. He seems to think you're going."

She rolled her eyes, but looked nervous. "Oh, he's got this stupid dream. He's like, in love with me. I let him think it, what's it matter? You know how it is."

I nodded. Yeah, I knew how it was. "So he doesn't mean a thing to you, pretty much?"

She laughed. "_Please._ Good in the sack, though. Of course, you probably knew that."

I pulled out my phone. "So, Chardo, got a contingency plan?"

"Oh God," Caitlin whispered.

On the other end of the phone, I heard stunned silence. "She lied to me," Chardo said, as if he couldn't believe it. I was surprised at how sorry I felt for him.

"You want me to take you to the Sheriff?"

* * *

I stood awkwardly in Keith's office after Chardo's confession. The deputies took him away, and Keith smiled at me. "I don't know how you do it, Lilly."

I shrugged. "The way your daughter taught me?" he smiled sadly at that, and I bit my lip. "Speaking of Veronica..."

He looked concerned, and I took the seat across from him. I pulled out my phone, and showed him the photo I took of the Neptune Grand's photo.

"What's this?"

"This is my mother at the Neptune Grand, around ten minutes before Veronica died," I paused. "The Neptune Grand is twenty minutes away from our house, and that's if you drive like I do. Either my mom learned to teleport, or... something's up with the murder case."

He looked me in the eyes. "I'll have to take the phone, Lilly," he said. His voice sounded broken and shocked. I nodded.

"Of course."

* * *

"Lilly," Logan was clearly surprised to see me approach him. "What is it?"

I sighed. "Okay, Logan? You clearly have terrible taste in women. Caitlin's cheating on you with Chardo Navarro – or, more like was, now he knows he never meant anything to her and has confessed to police about the credit card thing. Oh yeah, that was him."

Logan laughed a little, but he looked hurt. "Figures."

I smiled. "Guess it does. You like, break a mirror of something?"

He didn't answer as I walked away.

* * *

I was quiet the next day at lunch. Duncan and Wallace both looked confused. "Okay, girl," Wallace said, "This is the first day I've known you where you've been quiet. What's up?"

I bit my lip. "Nothing. Just... having a weird day."

"Lilly," Duncan admonished. "I have known you your entire life. You have _never_ been this quiet," he said, damn having family. "What's up?"

_Our mother might not actually have killed your girlfriend/my best friend? _Yeah, something tells me Duncan wouldn't take that news well.

My attention was called to Caitlin, as was Duncan and Wallace's. We saw her approach the 09er table, and be rudely shooed away. Logan wouldn't look her in the eyes. There was something familiar about that.

Wallace winced. "Hate to be her."

Duncan nodded. "Still, I heard about the Chardo thing – I guess she kind of had it coming."

I went silent again. Yes, Caitlin had it coming. She cheated. She used. She thought everyone was there for her entertainment. She lied. She took the world for granted. Who would feel sorry for a girl like that?

_I'm strolling down the school corridor, to run into Weevil. I try to duck and avoid him, but it doesn't work._

"_Lilly," he asks. "Can we talk?"_

_I don't want to talk. But I enter an empty classroom with him anyway._

"_Lilly, I'm not stupid. You've been ducking my calls for weeks. It's over, I get it."_

_I nod. "So, uh, what are we talking about, then?"_

_Weevil sighs. "Lilly, why? Do I deserve that, at least?"_

_I shrug. "Look, Weevil, it can't work with us. It never could. Different worlds and all that. I'm sorry, it's just... you know."_

_He looks wrecked. "So that's what this is about? The rich-girl-poor-boy thing?" he chuckles. "I thought you were better than that."_

_I shrug. "I wish I was."_

_The resulting awkward silence is interrupted by Logan – Logan, and our new reconciliation. "Hey," he slips his arm around my waist, and kisses the top of my head. I force myself to smile at him. "This guy bothering you?"_

_I shake my head. "Nah," Logan and I leave, and just for a second, I look back at Weevil._

_I don't think I've ever seen anyone as hurt as that._

"Hey, Caitlin!" I called out, surprising my brother and friend. Caitlin looked at me, resigned, expecting the attack.

"Need somewhere to sit?"

I didn't think I'd ever seen someone smile as wide as she did.

* * *

I got the call after school that day, while watching TV.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi Lilly," I heard Keith's voice on the other end. "I... called the Neptune Grand's manager, about the photos of your mother. There was a computer bug."

I held my breath.

"The time on the photo is an hour off. Celeste was there was 1:16... she had plenty of time to get back to your house and kill Veronica."

I exhaled and squeezed my eyes shut. _I will not cry. I will not cry._

"I'm so sorry, Lilly," I heard him say over the phone.

"Not your fault," I told him, trying to control the breaking in my voice. "I'll... I'll see you, Keith."

I hung up and leaned back. Figures. Like anything good happened to me. Like I could possibly get my mother back.

Duncan entered the room, concerned. "Lilly – Lilly what's wrong?"

I shook my head. I guessed it was good I never told him – he was always Mom's favorite, and if being let down was hurting me, it would _kill_ him. "Nothing," I told him. "Crap day."

"You've said that twice," he explained.

"Technically, the first time I just said it was a "weird" day," I corrected, and he shrugged.

"Whatever. Something's wrong – Lilly, what's up?"

I shook my head again. "I'm fine, Duncan," I said, before I left and went up to my room.

I wasn't fine – nowhere near it – but I couldn't tell him that. I shut my bedroom door, and suddenly, I was furious. What the fuck was up with that computer bug? Should they have figured it out? Shouldn't they have corrected the photos? I mean, what was the point of inaccurate security photos?

I screamed into my pillow. It was silly and childish, but I suddenly had a lot of rage directed at people I didn't know. So I took it out on my pillow, punching it a few times.

I reached for my phone again. When you slept around as much as I did, you learned hotels' phone numbers fast.

"Hello, this is the Neptune Grand, how may we help you?"

"This is Lilly Kane. I want to speak to the manager."

The server sounded confused. "Hold for one second," she said. I was soon put through to the manager I was looking for.

"Hello, this is John Crawford, manager of the Neptune Grand. How may I help you?"

"Fix your computer bugs before I might find the result of one, the result that makes me think my mother might not have killed my best friend?"

He pauses on the other end. "I... beg your pardon, miss?"

"The sheriff spoke to you, guy! About the photo of Celeste Kane, saying she was there at 2:16 – am I ringing any bells?!"

I could hear the confusion. "I'm sorry, miss, the sheriff did not speak to us. We have had no contact over the prosecution of Celeste Kane, the murder of Veronica Mars."

My blood run cold.

"What?"

I wanted to accuse him of lying. To believe in Keith. But why would this guy lie? No, Keith was the liar.

"I must have been mistaken."

I hung up, lump in my throat.

_Now, what's happening?_

* * *

"Hey," Duncan greeted me the next morning. "Did you hear?"

"Well, I haven't gone deaf yet, so yeah. But you're going to have to be more specific," I replied, reaching for the coffee.

"They're creating a fountain at school," I raised an eyebrow in my patented "_Why do I care?"_ expression. "A Veronica Mars memorial fountain." So that's why I cared.

I nodded. "Alright then," I pursed my lips. "I guess she'd like that. To be remembered."

Duncan nodded wistfully. "They'll be doing a whole memorial service," he said. "Do you think we should go?"

"Uh, duh. Boyfriend, best friend. You _know_ she'd never forgive us if we didn't show."

"We're Celeste's kids, Lilly," Duncan reminded me. A lump formed in my throat – kept away by being her murderer's children, now her murderer might not even be her murderer. I shook my head.

"You seriously think Veronica would want that to matter?" I asked, and reached across and squeezed his hand. "Veronica loved us. And we loved her. We should show."

This Golden Moment was interrupted by the ringing of my cell. _Keith Mars._ I was tempted to ignore the call, or to scream at him when I answered, but I was still trying to figure out what the hell was going on, and maybe not letting him on that I knew something was up was a better plan.

So I answered cheerfully. "Y'ello?"

"Lilly," Keith said. "So... have you heard, about the Veronica Mars memorial foutain, and service?"

I nodded. "Just like, two seconds ago," I explained to him.

"Well, they want a video tribute to Veronica formed... I can't do it, Lilly. I think you should. You were her best friend."

I sucked in my breath. Hours spent composing a montage of why I loved her? Sounded like hell. But it also sounded cathartic, and like something Keith really needed done – though, why should I have helped him at that moment? No idea.

"Of course."

"Thanks, Lilly," he hung up quickly. I'm sure I looked stunned, because Duncan looked concerned.

"What's up?"

I sighed at him. "Keith Mars just asked me to create a video tribute to Veronica, for the memorial service."

Duncan nodded. "Are you going to do it?"

I shrugged. "She was my best friend."

* * *

I was terrible at organizing my hard drive. I had never really noticed that before – I wasn't that big on needing old files – but now I was searching, looking for all those silly videos V and I used to take.

"You hate naming your folders, apparently," I heard another girl say over my shoulder. A girl with long blond hair coated with blood, dressed in a Neptune High Pep Squad uniform.

"Veronica?"

She smiled. "I never really thought I'd get this sort of remembrance. Videos, memorials, fountains. A whole town turning against a family in my honor. It must suck for you."

I was speechless. And clearly nuts. Well, I'd had a tough year. "Veronica, why are you hear? Is this just like some "my soul is doomed to walk the Earth until justice is served" thing?"

"So justice hasn't been served?"

I paused. "I... don't really know. Did she do it, Veronica?"

She shook her head. "Lilly, I'm not even here. What do you really think I can tell you?"

I shrugged. "Worth a shot. Why did your Dad lie to me?"

She walked closer and put a hand on my shoulder. "Depends. Do you trust him?"

"I... I don't really know."

"And your mother?"

I hesitated. "Would you stop with the hard questions?" She laughed at that. I paused. "I miss you, V."

She ran a hand through my hair, and smiled sadly. "I know."

I woke up at my computer. I blinked a couple of times, and checked the clock – 4 am. I must have dozed off while looking for the files for the video.

I sighed.

Whoever really killed Veronica, my mother or not?

Was going to pay.

* * *

Of all the people I was expecting to show up at my door the next day, Logan Echolls? Was not on the list.

I stood there for a few moments, making sure I wasn't hallucinating or time-traveling. "Logan, what are you doing here?"

He smiled. "What, I can't just pop by for a chat?"

"Er, you hate us. So... no."

I sighed, and reluctantly gestured for him to come inside. "Thing is," he started to explain, "I heard you were doing a Veronica memorial video."

"That's true. But why are you...?"

He laughed. "I remember the way you used to organize your hard drive. The chance of you _finding_ all those old videos? Next to nil."

I shrugged. "I'm not doing _that_ badly... I mean, I'm still doing badly. But I'm not doing that badly."

He continued. "Anyway, I thought I'd bring you this," he handed me a USB stick, and I looked confused. "It's a whole heap of video files from around a week before she died. My party, when you and Donut were in like, Greece or somewhere?"

I nodded. "I remember. That must have been like, the last day she was actually talking to you?"

A week before she died, Veronica got really distant and quiet. And she started avoiding Logan like the plague, which suited me fine, given him and I and our messy breakup. I asked her what was up, but she wouldn't say. I didn't push the issue, then she died, so I couldn't really keep asking.

Logan and I both paused, and I sighed. "Well, uh, thanks... Logan." I turned around to take the USB upstairs, but he called out from behind me.

"I loved her too."

The words made me freeze.

"I wasn't like, in love like Duncan, obviously. And I didn't staple myself to her ass like you did. But she was my friend... and I loved her."

I turned back around to him. "I know."

He smiled sadly. "I miss her."

"Me too."

He turned to leave, but it was now my turn to call out. "Logan!"

I turned. I had to say this one day.

"I'm sorry about your Mom," he flinched. "I was a dumb attention-whore. And, uh, normal whore. I never really wanted to hurt anyone – okay, maybe I wanted to hurt Aaron. I'm so sorry. Given what happened, I cannot _believe_ that matters to you, but... I kinda need you to know it anyway."

He didn't saying anything else before he left. I took the USB he gave me upstairs, and plugged it into the computer. There was only one folder, conveniently labeled _Veronica. _I clicked on a random video file.

"_Hello there, ladies and gents!" Logan calls out with an arm around a clearly unsteady Veronica, drunk out of her mind._

"_It is November 27th, 2003 – the best damn night _ever_!"_

_They both laugh._

"_This is Logan Echolls,"_

"_And Veronica Mars."_

"_Masters of the universe!" they both call out._

A tear slips down my cheek, but I wipe it away and smile anyway. She was so happy.

Logan Echolls. Veronica Mars.

Duncan Kane. Lilly Kane.

Masters of the universe.


	5. Kane vs Mars

**Five: Kane vs. Mars**

I arrived for the memorial service with Weevil and Duncan. "Okay, so who exactly are we waiting for?" Weevil asked. The not-scary expectant group member appeared promptly.

"Hey Lilly," Wallace greeted me, and extended the same to the boys. He refused to look cowed by Mr. Duct Tape, for which I was grateful, because I was trying to further all my friendships and avoid drama. Yeah, I know, Lilly Kane, avoiding drama?

Speaking of drama, Caitlin chose that moment to arrive. "Hey, Lilly!" she greeted me brightly.

Weevil's eyes flashed red. "Oh no," he pulled on my arm. "What is _she_ doing here?"

Yeah. The drama-avoidance thing? Not going so hot.

"Weevil, she's a friend. Deal."

He still looked angry, but he shut up. Caitlin rather distinctly avoided his eyes. There was an awkward pause before Wallace started to talk. "Okay, so... we should move to the service, no?"

We shuffled forward to the platform. A red velvet draping hung over what I assumed was the fountain, and another over what I assumed was a screen. Keith stood on the stage, looking sad and somewhat uncomfortable. I sighed, and Weevil wrapped an arm around me. Our group got strange and angry looks from gatherers, but I wasn't paying that much attention. I was looking at Keith.

Keith loved Veronica more than anything in this life, and vice versa. Veronica loved him more than her mother, more than Duncan, certainly more than me. But if this was all so loving and great, why on Earth would he lie about her murder? Could I have judged someone that wrongly, could I have missed some sort of monster that would have something to do with his own daughter's death, and then frame an innocent? I didn't think so. But why should I put more faith in Keith Mars than I did in my own mother?

Keith sighed deeply before he took to the podium. "I'm really not sure what to say."

"Veronica was... well, I think most of you know how she was. She was kind. Beautiful. She held her heart out to the world. More than that, she was strong. Stubborn. Witty. Smarter than anyone I'd ever known. I always wondered... how on Earth I made a daughter like that," I'm sure everyone's mind trailed to Dad like mine did at that sentence, "But... I guess we'll never know. Veronica was my daughter. I really have nothing else to say."

Could he really be the bad guy?

Keith pulled the curtain to reveal the fountain – the name _Veronica Mars Memorial Fountain_ emblazoned on the front. The design of the fountain was fairly straightforward, simple, but classically beautiful. Veronica style.

Duncan reached for my hand.

Keith continued, "So now, I leave you with Veronica's video tribute, designed by her best friend," he pulled the red curtain off the screen. The video started, and we all saw sweet, happy Veronica. Her with her family. Her with her friends. Her and me, singing karaoke badly off-key. Her at Pep Squad, her 14th birthday. The night of last year's homecoming, her and Duncan being sickeningly sweet, having a picnic. Logan's party.

_This is Logan Echolls!_

_And Veronica Mars!_

_Masters of the Universe!_

Duncan began to sob. I held his hand tighter, and the two other boys looked at him with pity. I saw Caitlin handing him a tissue.

I smiled up at the video. Because I could tell... Veronica was proud of me. For being strong. For trying to find out what really happened. I was just doing it a bit late.

* * *

After the service, Caitlin and I lingered. "So... I guess, you're not showing up for the Homecoming Dance?"

I shrugged. "Not so much Dancer Girl nowadays. Kinda surprised you are."

She looked a little proud. "I'm not just some bimbo, Lil – I'm stronger than them. I'll make it through this."

I laughed. Caitlin looked a little silly, saying how strong she was, but I kind of admired her for it too. "You have no date."

She shook her head. "Uh-uh. You and the family and spouse might be heading off, but I've still got one lingering boy to deal with."

I raised an eyebrow. "You and Wallace? _Really_?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's like, one School Dance thing, Lilly. Not bells-are-ringing material."

I laughed, but saw Keith leaving out of the corner of my eye. Screw subtlety, I wanted to have this fight. "'Scuse me, Caitlin?" I asked her, and she nodded and wandered to Wallace, while I followed the sheriff.

"Keith?" I asked him, and he turned to smile at me. He still had tears in his eyes.

"Lilly, what is it..."

I paused. "So, uh, wanted to ask a question."

He nodded. "Shoot."

"Why did you lie about calling the Neptune Grand's manager?"

His face clouded over, and I bit my lip. "Yeah, I actually did call. Not that I didn't trust you – it's now I don't trust you – but then, I was just pissed because they didn't fix their computer bugs, before I_ dared _to hope for my mother again. But then John Crawford told me the truth. So, Keith, you kind of owe me an explanation."

He shook his head. "Lilly. The investigation is closed -"

"Then open it back up!"

"Celeste _killed _Veronica, Lilly!" he yelled. "I know it. I feel it!"

"How?!" I asked him. "What, she build a teleporter? I kinda thought Dad was the tech expert..."

"I don't know, okay? But I am doing everything I can to keep Lilly's killer behind bars!"

"And why," I started, voice filled with bitterness, "should I believe a _thing_ you say? Why should I think that you thought my mother did it at all?"

He looked as if I'd slapped him. "You think I killed Veronica."

Honestly, did I? Not really. Despite him lying to me, I couldn't imagine him hurting Veronica. But I couldn't rule it out, and I didn't trust him. So I said nothing.

"How?" his voice sounded broken. "How, how could you think that? Have you forgotten _everything_ before all this, how I loved my daughter – will you give up on _everyone_ who lovedher in this wild goose chase?!"

"_I _loved her, Keith," I stressed each word, allowing it to sink it. I mustered the angriest expression I could before I continued. "I loved her. And I clearly knew her a hell of a lot better than you did, because Veronica believed in the _truth._ I mean, she had "Vera" in her name, I guess that was Lianne's idea?"

Keith and I both said nothing for a second. So I continued.

"I'm going to find out who did this, and I'm going to make them pay... even if it was you."

He sighed. "You sound like her."

I nodded. "Good."

He just shook his head at me. "How did you get so bitter, Lilly?"

"You want a list?"

I turned to leave, but Keith interrupted. "You want to know who payed for this fountain, for this memorial...?"

My brow furrowed. What did that have to do with anything?

"It was your father, Lilly."

I turned before I could suppress my gasp, or the Needy-Daddy's-Girl tone in my voice when I asked: "What? He sent you money, so... so you know where he is?"

Keith bit lip and nodded. I worked at controlling my emotions. Dad still wouldn't want us, even if I did find him. Still, I had to ask: "Where?"

Keith said nothing at that, and I scoffed when I got it. "So this is like, blackmail? Bribery? My daddy in exchange for my mommy, so I leave it alone?"

He still didn't respond, and I shook my head. "I'd have thought you'd know me better than that, Keith."

He shrugged, and cracked a smile. "Worth a shot." I didn't respond in turn, and turned to leave again. He had another interruption, however.

"He's in Philadelphia."

I turned back to him again. "The letter with the cheque was sent from Philadelphia. There was no return address, so I can't give you much more than that."

Keith Mars was a very confusing person.

"I'm not a bad man, Lilly."

I pursed my lips. "We'll see."

* * *

At home, I ran to my room before Duncan could see me cry. Nobody saw Lilly Kane cry.

I suddenly had more to think about than just Veronica. _Just_ Veronica. Yeah, great respect for your best friend's memory there, Lilly. But whatever – now I had Dad to worry about, somewhere in Philadelphia.

I hadn't let myself dwell on Dad's walkout – it sucked, I guessed he was just a weak bastard who couldn't cope with what happened and wouldn't come through for his children when they needed him.

So why did I want to find him so bad?

He was still my Dad, after all. I wanted to see him, even if I was pissed, some part of me wanted to beg him to take me back. I always was a Daddy's Girl, after all – Mom never really liked me. But also, with Dad, I wanted to make him regret giving me up – to make _him_ beg _me _ to take him back.

Actually, with the Neptune Grand photos, maybe I wanted to find Dad, because I wanted to go back. I had always wanted to go back, but this was the first chance of it happening in anyway – no, I couldn't take back my mistakes or bring my best friend back to life, but maybe I could get my family back. It had seemed like a pipe dream, but maybe the universe finally noticed my good-luck-bad-luck balance was seriously out of line.

And there was one other thing, something that always kind of bugged me about Dad's runout. It was too damn _sudden._ Dad seemed like the kind to prepare for at least weeks, but no-one could find any evidence that he had been planning a move for more than a few days before it happened.

I sighed. I had to actually find Dad first – Philadelphia was not exactly a small country town. In wondered – if Dad had fled to Philadelphia, would he have had a house there? There was no evidence of him buying anything. So, he'd have to rely on the kindness of someone. Relying on the kindness of strangers generally gets one murdered, robbed or tabloid'd, even if you did it in a southern accent, so it would have to be a friend. So, how many friends did Dad have in Philadelphia...?

* * *

I literally wrote a list, about twenty names long. I took off about half those names as more "business associates" than "friends."

Then, I started calling.

It took a while, and a lot of annoyed people, but eventually I found my man of the hour. "Eric Hampton?"

"Hello?"

"This is Lilly Kane, I believe you are a friend of my father's, Jake Kane?"

There was a heavy pause on the phone. "He said you'd go looking for him."

"Huh?"

Eric sighed. "Jake left this morning, Lilly. He didn't say where he was going, just that you were looking for him, and that you couldn't find him. He sounded... pretty panicked."

I nodded. "Do you have any idea why?"

"No. I think it had something to do with the safety deposit box..."

"Wait, what? What safety deposit box?"

"Jake said he had a safety deposit box, back in Neptune. He didn't say what was in it. Just that his children could never see it. He gave me the key to take care of."

There's a pause on the phone line. Safety deposit box? That I was never meant to see? Ominous much?

"Do you want me to go give you the key?"

"Do you have to ask?"

* * *

Eric and I were standing at the bank when I asked, "Why are you doing this?"

Eric puzzled it for a few seconds. "Getting you into the safety deposit box? Well... Look, Jake's trying to protect you. But I think, the best way to protect you, is giving you the knowledge to protect yourself."

I nodded. "Makes sense," I was still confused about what happened. Up until a couple of days ago, I had thought my dad had abandoned me because he was weak. But now – he was trying to protect me? From what? What had big Jake Kane running scared?

"Hello," Eric greeted the server. "We're here about this girl's father," he indicated me and I gave a small wave. "I'm her godfather."

Eric handed over whatever he needed to hand over to get us in, and then, there we were. Surrounded by safety deposit boxes.

"Okay, tall, dark and creepy," I muttered, and Eric laughed. "What number what it again?"

"138," he read off the key, and I kept searching. I founded my number eventually.

We opened the box, and were surprised by what we saw. At first, I thought they were just photos. Then, I realized they were photos of me. I looked through them again and again, me at the beach, me at the shops, me with Duncan, me with Dad – Eric's breath caught over my shoulder, and I raced through the pictures.

At the very end, I saw a neatly typed note. _Leave Neptune or else._

Well that blew the "weak" theory out of the water.

I put the photos back in the box, and shook a bit. Eric bit his lip. "People do that to you often?"

It was a dumb joke, meant to lighten the mood, but it made me think. Because people had done that to me before. January '04, when photos of me leaving the abortion clinic were suddenly made public domain at Neptune High.

It always had seemed to much of a co-incidence, just how close Dad leaving was to the abortion. Now, I had creepy threatening photos relating to both of them. But what did that even mean? Was driving Dad out of Neptune really about me, not him, the most powerful business man in town? But why? Revenge? But who on God's green Earth, seriously hated _me_ that much?

* * *

Eric and I stood outside, looking at the photographs. "Do you know when they're from?"

I shake my head. Of course, I know when one photo would be from – December 27th – but that's not here.

We pour over them again, looking for a signal. Then I notice the book I'm holding on one of them, a photo taken at the creatively named, _Café_ café. The title of the book is; _Legal Pyromania: News Years Traditions Throughout the Ages._

I, understandably, had only borrowed that book for New Years Eve, so that's when this was taken. The clock said 3:15.

"Eric... this was taken New Years Eve," I told him.

He nodded. "Okay, now we go to the police and they figure out whatever sicko did this."

I shake my head. "Okay, no. For one thing, we don't have a police, we have a sheriff's department. And a Sheriff who, right now, does not like me much."

Eric looked confused. "He's police. Even if he doesn't like you, doesn't he have to follow it procedure?"

I sighed. "Okay, this dislike – kind of stems from me figuring out some serious gaps in procedure he did, and I called him out on. Like a week ago, so it's kinda fresh. I'll figure out who did it, then I'll go to the police. I'm not going to owe that bastard anything."

Eric raised an eyebrow at me.

"It's a long story, okay?"

Eric half-laugh, half-sighed. "Nice knowing you, Kane."

_

* * *

Café_ was the single most generic café in human history, though that pretty much could be told by the name. Wondering around it, however, I started to piece together the story of my stalker.

To get the view shown in the photo, my would have had to have been sitting at table 7, and I at table 2. I sighed and approached the waiter.

I told him my sob story of the stalker, showed him the photos to prove it, and he... ignored me. Shit.

This also happened when I tried with a few other waiters and waitresses, but eventually, I hit success. "Wait here," the waiter told me, running off to fetch table 7's bill from the back room.

My stalker was dumb enough to pay with a credit card, which made me a little more hopeful about my chances. We checked who the card was registered to, and it wasn't exactly expected. I knew him. Everyone knew him. No-one knew him at all well, but he wasn't the stalk-underage-girls drive-the-fathers-out-of-town publish-photos-of-them-at-an-abortion-clinic type. He was harmless. Little League.

Well, Vincent Van Lowe, Private Eye, just hit the Big League.

* * *

Vinnie Van Lowe's office wasn't scary at all. It was full of chrome, glass, and fake black leather – someone has masculinity issues. I saw his secretary/mom at a desk, and I smiled at her.

"Lilly Kane," she sounded surprised, and disapproving, although she tried to mask it. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to see Mr. Van Lowe," I told her curtly, and she looked confused. I heard Vinnie's voice from inside his office. "Send her in, Ma."

I walked into the office, distinctly uncomfortable. Vinnie seemed not to notice. "Well, Miss Kane. What can I do for you?" he said, smarmy.

"Oh, me? I just want an answer to a few simple questions," I told him, and his expression didn't change at all.

"Go ahead. Make my day."

I threw the photos onto the desk. "So, Vinnie, stalking me for no reason seems low, even for you. And the thing where my Dad gets driven out of town? Uh, what the hell?"

He looked confused as he looked at the photos. "I... don't understand, Lilly."

I shook my head. "I have dealt with a lot of lies in the past few days, Vinnie – I _know_ you took these photos."

"Well, yeah," he sounded vaguely panicked as he reached the note. "I took 'em. But I didn't send them to Jake Kane and be all "leave or she dies." I'm not a lunatic, Lilly."

"Did you also take the photos of me outside the abortion clinic?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, they kind of went with this thing. But, I didn't post them on the Internet – I just did my job, gave them to the client. I... really don't care, about this mess."

I nodded. Vinnie seemed more or less like a pawn in all this. "So... who?"

"What?"

"Who hired you to follow me?"

He sighed. "Well, Lynn originally hired me... since you were banging her husband. Never got a money shot, but I guess you took care of that. Then she died, but Aaron kept me on retainer. Told me to follow you about. Guess he was behind this."

Aaron.

Figures.


	6. One Angry Aaron

**Six: One Angry Aaron**

The last time I stood outside the Echolls estate, I was a dumb, spoiled slut who had no idea how bad her life was about to get. Now, I was the embittered pariah about to do something about how bad things were.

Didn't mean I wasn't fucking terrified.

When Aaron opened the door, I froze for a second. "Lilly?" he sounded confused, tinged with angry. "What are you doing here?"

I composed myself, wearing the badass look in my eyes. "Hey, Mr. Echolls," I sounded almost like I used to, before Aaron and I knocked boots. "Can I come in? There's... something we need to discuss."

He semi-reluctantly let me in, before trying to make small talk. "How's your brother? I know he's had a hard time with, well, Veronica's death... I don't see your family much anymore."

I nodded. "Duncan's okay, I guess. He knows where I am," we could both hear the very definite not of warning in my voice, not that I really expected Aaron to be scared of Duncan. More, I expected him to be scared of a witness to whatever he chose to do.

Aaron looked at me, not quite being good enough an actor to look completely ignorant. "So, Lilly... what's this about?"

I sighed. "Why did you keep a PI stalking me?"

Aaron's face went dark. I continued, trying to hide the breaking in my voice.

"I know why Lynn hired Vinnie – I was screwing her husband, some proof would be nice. But you... You wanted to hurt me. You humiliated me with the abortion thing – how'd you even get into the Neptune High web system thing?"

He shrugged. "Didn't. Bribed a kid to do that. Think his name was... Oliveres. First name, starts with an M."

I shook my head. "Great, someone else to hate," I pulled my arms protectively toward my chest. "I think I'm getting why. You wanted to embarrass me like I embarrassed you – but what you did to my Dad? Making him run out of town in fear?" I tried not to sound broken. "Why? Didn't you think that might be a little over-"

"You _killed my wife_!" He yelled. We both froze, and I looked down. He looked at me with death in his eyes. "You killed Lynn. The only woman I ever loved. You can't take that back, Lilly, so you should pay for it."

I looked up. "We both killed your wife, Aaron," I said quietly.

"No – No you bitch-"

"Like you loved her anyway!" I cut him off. "You loved how she _submitted_. That she let you do whatever you wanted because she was too dead in booze and pills and pain, well guess what Aaron? Eventually your doormat couldn't take it anymore!"

Aaron slapped me hard. "You didn't know her."

"Who did?" I asked. "Do you really think the bridge was when she died? Did you really think it wasn't the moans from the poolhouse, or, I don't know, the _snap_ of leather against Logan's skin that was doing her in?"

Dots were connecting in my mind, dragging the things I had always known but couldn't bare to, into a clear picture of what had really happened, what I had really wanted.

"I know, Aaron! Logan was my boyfriend, I saw the scars, the bruises, the way he _hated_ you, that little tinge of fear in with bravado whenever I dropped him off here – did you think I wouldn't figure it out?! Did you think Lynn would just be okay with that, when Logan was the one good thing she had left?! God, why did you think I wanted to hurt you so bad with those tapes, you knew there must be some reason!"

Aaron punched me in the face, and I dropped to the ground. Before I could pick myself back up, he hit me again, and again, he hit and kicked and it hurt like _hell_. I tried to crawl away from the madman as he screamed at me. "You bitch! You didn't know them!" I didn't pay that much attention to what he was saying; I was preoccupied purely with escape.

"Murderous bitch!" Aaron grabbed me by the neck and began to throttle me, while dragging my body up and slamming it against the wall. I choked as I felt my airway restricted, and Aaron used his other hand to punch me a few times in the face.

_Duncan, please have found my note. Please come. Help me._

I valiantly struggled against Aaron's grip, but it was no use. He was bigger and stronger and I couldn't breathe. I distantly heard the buzz of one car, but whoever was in it was taking their time to walk inside. Not Duncan, but hey, most people would save my life if circumstances permitted.

I heard the buzz of yet another car, and whoever this one was being driven by, was in a rush. I heard the door swing open, and I called out. "Help!"

It came out muffled because I was being suffocated, but it worked. Aaron wasn't paying attention to anything beyond making me _die_, so he didn't hear the sound of two steps of footsteps, or the appearance of Duncan and Logan behind him.

"Get off her!" I heard Duncan scream, and out if the corner of my eye, I saw him grab... _something_ and whack Aaron over the head with it. Aaron fell to the ground unconscious, and I also sunk, gasping for breath.

Duncan grabbed me and hugged me like there was no tomorrow, I hugged him back twice as hard. I began to sob. "Lilly, are you okay?!" he sounded frenzied and panicked.

I shook my head. "Dumb question, don't you think?" I buried my head in his chest, trying to control my tears. Aaron tried to _kill_ me...

I looked up to see Logan kneeling over his father, looking... confused. I saw the blood pooling around Aaron's head, and Logan checking for his breathing.

"Dad?"

Oh god.

* * *

The hospital was awkward. Scary. I wasn't that badly injured, for having been beaten and nearly choked to death. A lot of bruises, but still.

They were keeping me in a bed anyway, just for observation.

Duncan had _killed_ Aaron. My Donut, my big brother, had killed a man. It was disturbing. He couldn't go down for it – he was just trying to save his little sister's life, and Logan would testify to that fact, I had the bruises to prove it. The Sheriff's department had to take him away anyway, and I prayed that Keith would see this as some sort of opportunity to make me leave the Veronica thing alone. He had offered me my father, in exchange for my mother – why not my brother?

I was thankfully brought out of reverie by the interruption of friends. Caitlin and Wallace, to be precise, who showed cautious smiles and flowers.

"Hey, people who actually like me," I waved to them, and the entered. Caitlin handed me the bouquet, and I smiled.

"Lillies."

"Uh-huh," she looked so damn _proud_ of her pun. Caitlin still wasn't exactly the brightest.

"Girl, who should hear what people have been saying. Big-shot movie star trying to kill you? Duncan killing him?"

"Yeah," Caitlin cut in. "You should listen to the radio., It's like, nuts – a whole bunch of people think it was actually like, cold-blooded murder or whatever, but they haven't seen you. Lilly, you look _bad_."

I nodded. "Yeah. Almost dying can do that."

They both cracked a smile, before another person arrived. "Lilly!" Weevil came quickly to my side and grabbed my hand. "It took them _forever_ to let me in here. Guess they just didn't think a girl like you would let a spic like me be with you."

I just gave him a slow smile, and he leaned over to give me a kiss. "You okay, girl?"

I shrugged. "I guess. I'm not dead, that's always a plus."

Caitlin still looked uncomfortable in Weevil's presence, but he seemed to focused on me to care about her. "Now, Lilly, you try running off to deal with your psycho stalker alone again? I'm going to kill you."

I shook my head. "Okay... what exactly is and is not public knowledge, now?"

Wallace was the one to answer that question. "What we know if – Aaron got someone to take photos of you. That included the abortion thing. You found out it was him, were dumb enough to confront him over it, he tried to you. Then Duncan came in and saved your ass, but then he killed Aaron."

I sighed. "Did you guys hear about the mess with my Dad?"

They all looked confused.

"About Aaron driving him out of town, threatening to kill me?"

Weevil shook his head. "_Before_ trying to kill you?"

"Dad got sent some creepy photos, with a "leave town our else" note. Daddy obeyed."

Caitlin looked sympathetic. "And I thought my luck sucked."

All three of us sat there for a while, until the two people who had been there at the moment entered.

"Hey Lilly," Duncan took my hand, and Weevil shuffled over to make room. "How you feel?"

"Scared, angry, confused and kinda beat up. You?"

Logan tried to blend into the walls, and I felt a wave of pity for him. Losing two parents to the Kanes in under a year – unlucky bastard.

Duncan ran his hand through my hair. "I feel... terrified and guilty, yet overwhelmingly relieved."

"Yay us."

Logan walked forward. "This... is going to end weirdly."

We all turned to look at him. I think they all felt the same wave of pity that I did. Caitlin was the first to speak.

"Sorry, Logan. Sucks for you, but... your Dad was a bastard, you know that, right?"

Logan nodded. "Yeah. I'm glad he's dead," Weevil and Wallace looked confused at that, but Duncan, Caitlin and I just accepted it. I wasn't sure why Caitlin had something against Aaron though.

"Okay... yeah, that's kind of weird," Wallace said, and Logan flinched.

"You didn't know my dad."

The reflection on Logan's issues was interrupted by a couple more people. The Casablancas brothers. Okay, weird.

"Dick, Beaver?" Logan responded to their entrances with raised eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"

Dick shrugged and looked scornful. "Don't ask me. His idea," he pointed at Cassidy, and I started to feel a touch uncomfortable.

"Okay," I said. "Still don't really get it, but hey, visitors, whatever."

Cassidy smiled and shrugged. "Heard what happened, thought I should pay a visit," he paused, "I guess, I felt responsible. You know, for knocking you up in the first place."

There were room-wide double takes, and Dick actually choked. I just lay back in my bed with a smile – why else would he visit? Of _course_ he knew.

"Dude!" Dick pulled on one of Cassidy's sleeves.

"What? You slept with her?" Caitlin said to Cassidy. "I... was pretty sure you were gay, actually, but..."

We all looked at her skeptically.

"No seriously!" she said defensively, and Cassidy crossed his arms. "Actually," she continued, "I was pretty sure I saw you with him," she pointed at Logan, and we were all a little taken aback, "At a party once." She paused, "Guess I was just really drunk."

Cassidy nodded, "Guess so," he said, and Logan looked... amused.

"Okay then. Someone doesn't believe in bisexuality," I joked. I turned back toward Cassidy. "So then, lover – when'd you figure it out?"

He shrugged. "Pretty much right after those pictures were released. I figured out the timing – a few weeks after that party. I'm not an idiot, Lilly."

I snorted. "Okay, given my reputation, I'd half-expect you to believe like, twenty guys could be the father. Which they couldn't, by the way, so no one get ideas and spread more rumors, okay?"

"I'm sorry," Logan said quietly. "About my Dad... You're still a bitch, Lilly, but you don't deserve to die."

I shrugged. "Lynn didn't deserve to die."

Everyone went quiet, before I continued. "I guess... I mean, that's why he said he was doing it. Lynn. He didn't seem to get it was his fault as much as mine."

Duncan squeezed my shoulder. "I can't believe this happened," he looked up at Logan. "I'm sorry, man."

Logan shrugged. "I was there. You did what you had to."

The awkward silence reverberated for a few seconds, then Logan shook his head. "I should go."

He filed out, and one after another, so did everyone else, until it was just me and my brother.

"What did I learn today, Duncan?" I asked him. "Well, don't confront your psychotic stalkers alone. It's just... not a good idea," I surmised. "Also, those who just killed someone get out of jail really easy..."

"Well, Keith new it was justified... what with you and all."

I nodded. This whole thing was just surreal – Duncan killed someone.

He sighed. "I actually kinda have to..."

I smiled. "Go, Donut. I'm in a hospital, I'll be fine."

He wandered off and I was left alone with my thoughts for a while. Then I was interrupted by a man in uniform, who I was less than pleased to see.

I reached for the cellphone I had on my side table, idly playing with it, conveying a distinct impression of "I Don't Want You Here." Keith noticed, but took the chair beside me anyway.

"What can I do you for, Sheriff?" I didn't look up from my phone.

"I wanted to see how you were," he said, and sighed. "From your expression, it would be worse for seeing me?"

I gave him a mocking smile. "However did you guess?"

He sighed. "Lilly, are you an idiot?"

"Uh, no, you're the delusional one."

"I'm not talking about Celeste," he said firmly, and it surprised me a little. "Aaron Echolls was a dangerous stalker, who wanted to hurt you _badly_. What on Earth were you thinking, going after him alone? It was a police matter, you should have gone to us."

"Yeah," I said sarcastically. "Because I'm going to put _so much_ faith in _you_."

He shook his head. "It's not the same, Lilly. I never wanted you getting hurt."

I snorted. "Well, making me think my mom killed my best friend? Hurt!"

"She did kill Veronica, you have to know that. I had to get her put away."

"So you had to ignore evidence, probably manufacture evidence, lie to me about the evidence, and I think you destroyed my old phone – you know, with Celeste's alibi."

Keith sighed. "I didn't... manufacture the evidence. We found her blood-stained clothes."

I shook my head. "Yeah, I thought of this, but really, that suit? Any rich woman could have that suit!"

"And what other rich woman could have wanted Veronica dead?"

That caused me to pause. Honestly, I didn't _know_ who else might want Veronica dead. "It's always possible Celeste was being framed. Hey, Keith, in my mind? You're still a suspect."

Keith shook his head. "I didn't."

"And I am weird and trust you more than I trust my own mother, so I believe you," I paused. "I know why you won't re-investigate. Sunk costs fallacy. You won't admit that you were in the wrong putting Celeste away; you just couldn't take that. So you keep backing a faulty conviction."

He didn't say anything.

"But Keith? That's _not my problem_. I was wrong about V's death and I admitted in. Now, my problem is that my mom's in prison and she shouldn't be, and my best friend's killer is out there somewhere. So you're going to release the proof Celeste didn't do it. You don't have to tell the world you framed her – when you're not a delusional psycho, you're a better sheriff than the rest of your cronies."

He shook his head. "You're wrong, Lilly. I won't do it – Celeste Kane stays where she is, where she belongs."

"Okay, now _I_ have to release proof she didn't do it. And tell the world you framed her."

"Lilly, you _have_ no proof. You gave the photo to me, I destroyed it. Neptune isn't going to believe you over me. You don't have anything."

I shrugged. "I have this conversation," and I turned the phone I had been playing with all this time toward him, showing the voice recorder screen. "So, yeah. The proof. Release it."

He didn't even look surprised. "Should have seen that coming, really. Shouldn't have talked so much."

"Woulda shoulda coulda," I told him. "Blackmail, my friend. Now you're going to get her out of jail."

He nodded. "Wouldn't have seen this coming, last year."

Neither would I.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning after my overnight stay, I was surprised to see a book lying on the table beside me. Not just a book; a diary. _Veronica's_ diary.

Who had left that there? Had it been Keith, who actually would have access to Veronica's diary, and knew I was investigating? Then again, he genuinely believed Celeste did it, or he was lying that he did, which would generally imply he killed her or someone he cared about did, so he wouldn't be giving me clues. But who else other than Keith could leave the diary, would _have_ the diary? Logan, maybe? But he didn't know about everything with Celeste.

I reached for the book and opened to the back, my eyes drawn to the entry after September 27th, although this one wasn't dated. It was chilling before I even started reading; the hand-writing was shaky, nothing like the fluency of how Veronica wrote, and smudges of tears stained the pages. She must have been sobbing her eyes out when she wrote this. _Why?_

Then I took in the words.

_I don't believe it. I can't believe it. No. This... this isn't happening to me. It's just some stupid nightmare. I'm the Sheriff's daughter, things like this don't happen to me. This can't be real. This can't be. Someone couldn't... no. This can't be happening. Please, let this not be happening._

_I can't remember. I can't even remember the whole party. Slipped me a mickey, put me in the room near the kitchen; god, I don't even know...  
_  
I stopped reading and drew back to catch my breath. Oh my God. That's why she was weird and distant, someone fucking _raped_ her. I knew something was up, but this... why didn't I know? God, how couldn't I know?

I bit my lip, and turned to the very last entry. It was written a little less shakily, but the content was just as horrifying.

_No no no, it wasn't Logan. I know Logan._

_But hey, he gave me the drugs. He held the fucking party; maybe this was the whole point of the thing anyway. Maybe he just always wanted to get me... But why, I mean, Lilly ended it, but why would he go after me? There are much easier ways to get laid._

_But... I trusted him. No, I can't believe it. Why did I trust him?_

I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes.

"No. No."

Double negative.


	7. I Don't Know What You Did Last September

**Seven: I Don't Know What You Did Last September**

My life was getting far to complicated for Duncan to wake me up grinning like a maniac. Bastard.

"Lilly! Did you hear?!"

I shook my head. Not a morning person, never would be. "No, still not deaf. Duncan, hear _what?_"

His smile went a little less insane. "Mom didn't kill Veronica, Lilly. They found the photos proving she couldn't have been at the house."

It had been a long time since I had seen Duncan relentlessly, unashamedly happy like this, and I was suddenly okay with being woken up at six on a Saturday. He always was such a Momma's Boy.

"That's... it's great," I said, feigning surprise. I was glad Keith followed through on the deal – it helped my mother, and cleared a lot of my suspicion toward him. Not entirely, of course – but if he had something to do with Veronica's death, he was risking a lot more this way.

I hugged Duncan, and grinned into his shoulder. "We should go see her," he whispered to me, and I froze.

I pulled back from the hug. "Uh, Donut... we believed she killed Veronica. We had that little faith in our own mother. You ever think, maybe, she wouldn't want to see us?"

Duncan's face faltered a little. "I don't know, I guess. But I still think we should go. At least apologize."

I shrugged. "Maybe."

Maybe once my life was a little less chaotic.

* * *

The phone call I made that day was not one influenced by any of the joy of my mother's proven innocence. It was one out of my ex-boyfriend's ambiguous guilt.

"Hey, Caitlin Ford here. Lilly, whatcha doing?"

I winced. Caitlin was such a ditz and beyond awful things. But hey, she was my best chance and getting some info. "Caitlin, I need to ask you about something."

"Shoot, sugar."

"You were at Logan's party the week before Veronica died, right? I was in Greece, but you'd probably have been there."

"Oh god!" she exclaimed shrilly. "I like, heard about your Mom, Lilly! That's so weird. I mean, how'd that happen? But, like, this party have something to do with who really killed Mars or something?"

I nodded, although she couldn't see it. "Yeah, Caitlin. Turns out, some bastard raped her. I need to know who."

She paused. "Wait... like, no. You serious?"

"Dead. Like she is, fittingly enough."

"But, he... like, he wouldn't. He was her friend, I know him, you know him. He can be a jerk but, he's really not, like, capable of..."

"He?" my voice wavered. No, _please_ let her not be describing Logan. _Please. _"Caitlin, what did you see?"

Caitlin gave a heavy sigh on the other side of the line. "I... Lil, I saw Logan dump her in a guest bedroom, you know, the one near the kitchen? She was asleep, I guessed she was just wasted, but..." her voice was wavering too, and I was glad we were having this conversation over the phone, so she couldn't see the fact I was crying. Yes, Logan had spent months treating me like shit, but he had his reasons – and I had loved him, once. I had loved him September 27th.

"And... he didn't leave the room?"

"I only saw it for like, a second, Lilly. I was with... some guy, and I left, so..."

The silence was heavy and awkward. "I'm... sorry, Lilly. About V and Logan and all."

"Yeah."

"Find out what happened, okay?"

I hung up.

* * *

I waited until school started to confront Logan. I just couldn't bring myself to go back to the Echolls house yet, not after what happened with, _to_ Aaron. Truth and justice were important, but they could be postponed for two days.

Logan looked confused when I wandered up to him. "Logan, we _really_ need to have a talk."

He looked perplexed, but followed me into an empty classroom. "So, Logan," I paused and breathed deeply. "A funny thing happened on the way out of the hospital. Someone – I don't know who – gave me _this._ Veronica's diary, up to the end of September. You should see what she writes on the 28th, it's amazing," I handed him the book, and he flipped to the date after 27. I saw the darkness clouding his face, and bit my lip. "Yeah, I know. Check the sequel, the last one. It's even better."

He turned to it wordlessly, and began to shake his head. I started talking again: "I think you kind of owe me an explanation."

"Lilly, I didn't!" he exclaimed desperately. "I wouldn't – God, Lilly, are you that psycho, you think I'm _capable_ of that?"

I shrugged. "I don't want to," my voice broke on that, and I forced back tears. "But she did, Logan. She said you were the one who drugged her. There's gotta be reasons."

He gave a humorless laugh. "I... I gave her GHB."

I never hated anyone like I did at that moment. I'm saw he saw it in my eyes.

"Lilly, please don't look at me like that. Veronica was my friend, and she was being so mopey after the Duncan thing – I just wanted her to lighten up, maybe I was a bit high on the dose. But, I never would have hurt her. If you remember Veronica at all, you have to know that."

I said nothing. He continued. "What am I saying? You just came here wishing to make me pay for it, you don't care who raped her. Why would you?"

I shook my head. "I came here _wishing_," I paused. "That you'd give me proof. That you've have fallen into bed with whoever and I could check and clear you," he looked at me with a sort of surprise I had never seen from him. I smiled sadly. "I loved you back then, remember?"

"You always kind of sucked at proving that. But hey, guess wishes are horses," he told me, and I felt relief. "Well, we... fooled around a bit. A lot. So, yeah, I'm alibi'd."

I nodded. "So , I can ask this chick and you're in the clear?"

He pursed his lips. "Yeah, Lilly... didn't say it was a chick."

He grinned, and my eyes went wide for a second. Then I thought. "Yeah... actually not that big a shock."

He rolled his eyes.

"Who?"

"You've heard, Lilly."

I was confused at that. How the hell was I meant to have heard? Logan's drunken same-sex fooling wouldn't really be a topic of conversation. Not if people liked their faces. He saw the puzzlement on my face. "Need a hint? Well – Caitlin wasn't that drunk."

Oh.

"Okay... well, it's someone I can stand." Then I paused. "Hey, Caitlin was the one who saw you bring V into a guest room, once she passed out. Huh?"

Logan was puzzled. "Uh, I didn't bring her into a guest room. I didn't know she passed out, I just lost track of her."

Weird.

* * *

"Howdy, stranger."

"What's up, Lilly?" Cassidy asked with a small smile.

"I need to ask a really awkward and should-be-none-of-my-business-but-bad-things-have-happened question."

He nodded. "From the name, this won't be fun?"

"Not really. You ready?"

He nodded, so I continued. "What can you tell me about one of Logan's parties last year, the one on September 27th? In particular, what Logan was doing at it?"

He looked away. "I don't know. He was, knowing Logan and the way he always acted whenever you dumped him, probably screwing some chick."

"Cassidy," I warned. "Don't jerk me around. Logan said you were with him – now, I find it weird, you and me and him and the triangle thing, but I don't really care. It was a party, same-sex experimentation? Not exactly a news headline."

Cassidy blushed. "Then why are you even asking?"

I sighed. "You're his alibi, Cassidy. So tell me you were with him. Please?"

He shrugged uncomfortably. "It... it just happened. It didn't go that far. So... wait, alibi for what?"

Okay, yeah. I had forced him to spill. I guess I owed him the explanation.

"For raping my now-dead best friend."

He paused.

"Wait, what?" There was anger with the confusion in his eyes. "What the hell?"

"Somebody raped her. I... need to know."

"You're investigating a bit late, aren't you?" he said bitingly. "Let me guess, you only just found out?"

I shrugged uncomfortably. "Yeah, someone gave me her diary. And yeah, I feel bad I didn't figure it out at the time. Why does it matter?"

"It matters because _she didn't tell you._ This is none of your business," he gritted, and grabbed my arm. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Ow," his grip was stronger than I expected. "I think I'm investigating my best friend's rape and trying to find out who I have to kill. And possibly, who killed her."

He snorted. "Well you don't seem so big with the respect for the dead."

I shook my head. Was he nuts?

"She didn't want you knowing, there was a reason for that. This was her business and no-one else's, and you have _no right_ to start prying," he paused and I really wanted to slap him for what he was saying. I restrained myself and he continued. "Then again – Lilly Kane? Someone else's rights, privacy? Please."

He wandered off quickly and angrily, and I started to think. December 7th, 2003, I had history's weirdest morning after – one of near-catatonia and tears. I knew something was wrong, and had wondered about it at the time, but then there was the pregnancy, which was... distracting.

But now I wasn't looking at tears, I was looking at anger. Anger and a completely incomprehensible moral code – would any fully sane person stop me investigating my best friend's rape when she wasn't here to do it, when someone had to give her justice? But there was something _wrong_ with Cassidy Casablancas, I knew that since the party.

I was doubting he had spoken hypothetically.

And I had gotten myself yet more to deal with.

* * *

At lunch, I sat with Caitlin and Wallace. Duncan wasn't there, having taken a few days off in "I killed someone" mode. I shook the thought of Aaron's death out of my head – he pretty much deserved it.

We kept getting interrupted by people who kept telling me about my mother, about how they never really thought she did it. I rolled my eyes at that.

Caitlin's eyes locked on Logan across the quad, who was looking reflective. She squinted in fury. Oh, yeah, hadn't told her about his innocence.

"So you nail the bastard yet?" she asked, and Wallace looked confused. I shook my head.

"He gave an alibi, I confirmed it. It wasn't him Caitlin," I explained, and Wallace looked confused some more.

"You sure?" she asked. "Was it like, a witness? 'Cause he could have gotten someone to lie for him..."

Would Cassidy lie about what happened? I didn't really think so. Hey, Caitlin herself made it seem true. She was the one that saw them together, though she hadn't brought up the when. I wanted to ask her about the inconsistencies between her saying she saw Logan and Cassidy, her saying she saw Logan and Veronica, and whether or not Logan put V in the guest room. I didn't, because Wallace was right there and I didn't want to spill on Logan and Cassidy to him. That, and I wasn't quite sure Caitlin knew what inconsistencies were.

Wallace was still looking confused. "Yeah, I'm so missing the backstory here."

"We're trying to figure out if Logan was the one who drugged and raped her dead best friend," Caitlin said matter-of-factly, and Wallace's eyes widened. "Before she died, of course. I mean, if she was dead, what would he need the drugs for?"

Wallace looked at me. I shrugged.

"Your life is not like normal peoples'."

I really, really believed that.

* * *

I was not looking forward to this conversation. Talking to anyone about what the hell was wrong with a family member, would be awkward at best. When it was someone you couldn't stand? That would not be fun.

"Dick Casablancas," I approached him at his locker. "I don't want to talk to you. But God hates me, so I need to."

"Hey there, baby momma," he smirked at me. He was never going to leave that alone now, was he? Bastard. "Hey, that thing – weird about your mom. Weirder 'bout your bro though, so y'know."

"Uh... thanks," I dismissed. "Anyway. Dick, it's about Cassidy."

He laughed. "What's the Beav done?" He paused. "Tell me you're not pregnant again, 'cause that would be dumb. And Beaver'd probably say he'd have to pay for the snip, and seriously, I think he has better things to spend on."

I considered maybe some kind of voodoo doll would have been a worthy investment, before this talk.

"No. God, no."

"So what's up?"

I sighed. "Trying to figure that out, really. Leading theory? Sexual abuse of some kind."

Dick looked really, _really_ confused. "Wait, what?"

I shrugged. "Something's up. I know it, and that really seems to explain why he'd be acting like..."

Dick shook his head. "Dude, this is Beav. He doesn't act like, well, whatever you say is up."

I bit my lip. "Okay, need to describe some stuff. It started with the party – the weird morning after. Like, he was practically catatonic and refused to talk. At all. And then, uh, he was... kinda teary."

I saw something troubled behind Dick's eyes, but he shrugged it off. "So? Come on, this is Beaver – you know what a pussy he is. He didn't want you, get over it."

Yep. Voodoo doll would be good.

"This wasn't someone who'd gotten a bad lay, Dick. This was someone with trauma. And now, when I started asking questions about who raped Veronica? He _freaked._"

"Wait, Mars got - ?" he trailed off. "No. No fucking way can you think Beav -"

"No!" I exclaimed. "No, Jesus. I was asking 'cause he was someone's alibi," I didn't actually want Logan dead, so I wasn't going to elaborate. "But... he was pissed. Like he was defending Veronica's honor or whatever, by trying to get me to back off. No not-fucked-up person would act the way he did, believe me."

Dick shrugged. "Did someone... seriously rape Ronnie?" he sounded confused. I sighed.

"Yeah," then I realized that this talk was with another potential witness. "Actually, can you help? You've got to remember Logan's party, 'bout a week before Veronica died? The 27th?"

He looked uncomfortable. "I guess. I was pretty pissed, your girl was _way_ worse. At least she got to have fun before getting freaking murdered," he paused. "Or, y'know, not, what with the rape thing."

I sighed. "Dick, did you see anything, or not?"

He shrugged. "Uh... I remember. She passed out, and uh, Caitlin dumped her in a guest room, y'know that one by the kitchen."

Caitlin had put her there. That was... inconsistent.

I nodded. "Thanks Dick," no, I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth either. "Okay, prove you have some sort of a soul – talk to your brother?"

He shrugged, and I wandered away. He must have a soul in there somewhere.

* * *

I found Caitlin alone after a while. "Hey, Caitlin. Twenty questions. Or like, one."

She looked a little puzzled. "What's up, girlfriend."

"Okay, about Logan's party. You know his alibi?"

"The one he may or may not have gotten someone to lie about, and you haven't told me what it is?"

"Yeah, he could have gotten one person to lie. But getting the second person – _you_ – to lie? Before you knew about this? Not so plausible."

She paused. "...Huh?"

I bit my lip. This would be embarrassing. "Yeah – you weren't just very drunk."

She shook her head. "Wait, what are you talking about?"

"Cassidy? Come on, we had this talk, what, three days ago?"

She paused for a second. "Oh!" she suddenly got it. And then she looked confused again. "So wait, are they gay or not?"

"Uh, mostly not. Drunk sexual experimentation, not news-worthy. So please don't turn it into news, actually, because I don't want to humiliate them or make Dick kill Logan."

Caitlin nodded. "Anyway," I continued. "I got to talk to Dick about this mess, and he said Logan didn't bring V into the guest room near the kitchen – you did."

"Huh," she said. "Guess I was just like, confusing parties or something. I mean, I was pretty smashed, and it was like months ago – she must have gotten wasted at some other party, guess I messed up?"

I sighed. It had happened – like back in the June before, where like a hundred people dared Veronica into total inebriation – I thought Logan had been the one to put her to bed after that.

"Well, thanks for not causing me any stress or horror," I mentioned, and she looked ashamed at what she had done.

"Sorry, Lils."

I couldn't really blame her for it. "S'okay, alcohol does that to people. Hey, if I could separate each party in my head I'd..." I trailed off and she waited for me to finish. "...I don't really know the end to that sentence. But the point is? We're cool."

She grinned.

* * *

I arrived home wondering what on _Earth _to say to Duncan. Whether or not to tell him about this mess – then again, Duncan would probably go kill anyone who had done that to his girlfriend (I tried not to shiver at the thought of that literally happening) and that, satisfying or not, would not be good for anyone.

"Hey honey, I'm home," I called out, expecting the help to hear me instead of family. But it was family that heard – two of them, in fact.

Because sitting right there, was the renowned Jake Kane.

Yep. Definitely too much to deal with.


	8. Get It Back From Beaver

**Eight: Get It Back From Beaver  
**

"Dad?"

He nodded, and I slowly descended to the couch with my family. Holy crap.

"I... Have a lot to explain, Lilly," he sighed.

"You kind of really do," I told him, definitely angry. "Why didn't you tell me about the pictures? Why did you just run off?"

"I was trying to protect you -"

"Well it didn't really work!" I exclaimed, and he looked ashamed. Good. "From the timing of this, mixed with that bit never making the headlines, I guess you always knew it was him?"

Dad nodded, and Duncan looked uncomfortable. "I just had to _leave_, Lilly. He was dangerous."

"Yeah," I said quietly, slowly rubbing a bruise on my neck. "But Dad, really – did you think that was the best plan, rather than, I don't know, the police, or something?" No, I still didn't entirely trust Keith, but I more thought of him as delusional than evil.

Dad shook his head. "Lilly, if Keith tried to move against Aaron Echolls he'd lose his job, you have to know that. You can't take a man like that down."

"He took you down," I whispered.

"Lilly," Duncan said comfortingly. Good, pure, All-American Duncan Kane, who just happens to kill people. "Dad did want the best."

I sighed. "I know. I know, everyone tried to do the right thing. Everyone does the right thing..." I didn't finish the sentence, because I really had no idea how to.

Dad gave a weak smile. "I'm in a room at the Neptune Grand, 154. This is my new phone number," he handed Duncan a strip of paper, "You can call or visit any time."

He stood and started to leave again. It figured. Then he paused. "I missed you two."

Suddenly, he was gone. Again.

I hugged my brother as tight as I could.

* * *

What does a girl do when everyone she knows seems dedicated to fucking her life over? Why, go after the person she _doesn't_ know who seems dedicated to fucking her life over, of course.

"Marcos Oliveres?"

He was alone in the computer lab when I found him. He turned around with confusion in his eyes. "Lilly Kane?"

"You know me," I smirked. "Not really a surprise. I'm like famous around here – 'sides, there's that whole privacy violation and public humiliation thing."

He paused and laughed a little. I continued. "I must say, Marc, you were hard to find. Well, Aaron not actually telling me your first name didn't help much. But hey, finding an M. Oliveres worked eventually, so whatever."

He nodded. "Yeah. You're going to yell at me now, aren't you?"

I shrugged. "I was considering it. You are the bastard who published those pictures for fun and profit – what was your price, anyway?"

"Fifty grand."

Ah.

I continued. "That all? Seems a bit small from Aaron freaking Echolls. But seriously, you... don't look like a guy who got fifty grand for his troubles."

Marcos shrugged. "I didn't use it for me, Lilly – I'm not that sort of selfish bastard. But seriously, we needed it – have you seen my parents' mortgage?"

Stupid vaguely-sympathetic motive.

"Aww, how sweet. Except _not,_ because you had _no right to do this to me!_" I screamed at him, seriously losing my temper, and trying to shrug off why he did it.

"I know," he said calmly. "If it's any consolation, I didn't exactly feel good about it. But you were... well, _you,_ so I really couldn't be doing your reputation that much more damage."

He so had the slap I gave him coming. He acknowledged it, even. "Yeah, think I deserved that."

I shook my head. "You have no idea what you did to me."

He shrugged. "Yeah, I have an idea – I think I made a spectacle of you, invaded one of the most personal decisions of your life. Am I close?"

I bit my lip. "Do you... at all _care_, what you did?"

"A little. But I wouldn't take it back."

Bastard.

* * *

That talk had me set in bitter-bitch mode for the rest of the day. I walked down the corridors, and Wallace called out, ran to catch up to me. "Lilly, what's up?"

I shook my head. "Just had a talk with the guy who published those abortion photos. It was... less than fun."

He nodded. "So, yeah – should we go kill this guy or what?"

I sighed. "Nah, after all, he was just doing it to get cash for his struggling family, or something like that which a spoiled little rich girl like me _couldn't_ understand," my voice got angrier and angrier as the sentence went on. "Not fair. If you're going to do something awful to me, just, like, be a total bastard about it. Don't do some stupid greater-good thing, I'm confused enough already."

Wallace looked sympathetic, and briefly wrapped an arm around my shoulders. Yay friends. "You're having a really bad week."

I shrugged. "Hey, my mom didn't kill someone. That was kind of a plus."

I really didn't want to run into Dick Casablancas on a day as bad as today. No such luck. "You!" he said at me, and I sighed. What did he want?

"Dude, I am like, never doing anything you tell me to ever again. Ever," he explained, and Wallace looked confused. I remembered asking him to talk to Cassidy, and guessed it didn't go well.

"You talked to Cassidy?"

Dick nodded. "He took my freaking head off! And, uh, he seems kinda out for your blood. Something about you not minding your own business, I kinda had to bring it up, that I was asking 'cause of you."

I sighed. "It's cool. But this? Is not a good sign."

Dick shrugged. "I guess it's not that much worse than the shit you told me about... just, like, I saw it now."

"I was hoping I was being paranoid," I told him, and Wallace still looked confused. I chose to ignore that for a few seconds, and I continued. "Like you'd talk to him, and everything would be fine, and I could just forget about it."

Dick shrugged with a "Yeah, whatever" and wandered off. I turned back to Wallace, resignation on my face.

"Something's up with Beaver?"

"Big time," I told him. "I'm still trying to figure out what."

"Girl, do you not have enough to deal with?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "So true. But, I guess – I mean, if I don't try to help him, who will?"

Wallace shrugged. "You're like a hero, girl."

Well that was a new one.

* * *

I sat at my laptop. Before she died, Veronica had insisted on installing a program on my computer, one she had because of having grown up with law enforcement. It was basically meant for easy organization of cases, suspects, evidence, whatever.

"_Come on Lilly! What if someone kills me one day, and you have to track them down and unleash vigilante justice?"_

Stupid dead psychic best friend.

I gulped at the "insert suspect name here" boxes. There was the obvious, _Celeste Kane._ A whole list of names flew from the keys, Keith and Dad wound up there, Logan and Aaron too. I ran down the list until I got to the end, and I tried to leave off the most obvious one.

I couldn't. Veronica was my best friend.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and typed _Duncan Kane_ in a box.

Then I typed in some evidence.

* * *

I was kind of baiting by breath for Cassidy Casablancas to find me and give me hell. I could deal. Having him drag my into the spare classroom felt almost like the entire story of the last couple of weeks.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" He hissed at me, and the sheer _venom_ in his voice made me wince.

"A few things, really. My life is complicated, mind narrowing it down?"

He shook his head. "Don't give me shit, Lilly. You just can't mind your own business, can you? You just keep asking questions, talking to the wrong people, trying to figure it out? You're unbelievable."

He gave the impression of someone trying to seem less scared than he was, and I sighed in pity and annoyance. "So, what is there to figure out, Cassidy?"

"Nothing!" he exclaimed quickly.

"I don't believe you."

"God, Lilly!" he yelled. "What is your problem?" we both paused. "Do you seriously not have enough drama to satisfy you, do you really think you should just imagine some mess, do you think I'm your pet project?!"

"Believe me, if I thought this wasn't worth it, I so wouldn't be taking it on."

"Then leave it alone, okay?"

I shook my head. "I can't do that, Cassidy, did you not hear the "worth it" part? You can lie to me as much as you like, but something's _up_ and you'll be better off telling me what."

"You're wrong, you've got to know that," he was bluffing, I could see it. "You can't just accept that _maybe_ not everyone's a whore like you?"

The insult didn't really bug me. "I'm trying to help," I told him.

"Shut up!" he looked panicked, crazed. "I don't _need_ help. I'm fine."

"No! You're not!" I told him, stepping closer. "Cassidy, _fine_ people don't cry the morning after, or stop talking. _Fine_ people don't freak and yell at someone for investigating _someone else's_ rape, or take their brother's head off for asking questions, or burst in here looking the way you do right now!"

I really wasn't expecting the backhand he gave me when I said that. _Ow._ I avoided falling to the floor, and looked back at him, clutching my cheek. "Yeah, that wasn't a particularly fine person thing to do either."

He breathed heavily, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a crowd staring at our fight through the door. He didn't seem to see them, looking as if he were swimming in chaos. He gulped. "You mind your own business, Lilly," he wrenched open the door and stormed out, the observers parting for him. I saw him practically run through the Neptune High main doors, through the car park and the gates.

I sighed, thinking I really could have handled this better. My reflections were interrupted by Weevil coming to my side, gritting his teeth. "Okay, that boy's a dead man walking. No-one hits my girl," Weevil balled his fist and almost took a step toward the door, so I soothed him with a hand on his arm.

"Let it go, Weevs," he looked at me like I was crazy. "_Non compas mentas._ Or however it's actually said, I'm not big on Latin."

"Oh, he's nuts alright, but do you seriously not want me to make him pay?"

No, I didn't want anyone making Cassidy pay. I could deal with some pain, and he looked pretty fragile – it really wouldn't help. I really wanted to track him down, to convince him to let me help him, to at least tell me what happened, but it wouldn't work.

I was having a _really_ bad day.

I wrapped my fingers around Weevil's, and smiled. "Come on, honey. Let's cut out of here. Do something fun."

* * *

It was annoying when I was lying next to Weevil, arms wrapped around him, and I realized sex hadn't made me feel any better. It was good, sure, but when it done Veronica was still dead and Cassidy still had issues and my mom was still in jail and my brother was still a killer and my life was still a mess.

I fell asleep pretty quickly, to a dream that was as disturbing as you'd expect from my dreams.

_I'm lying on a pool, hearing the distant ring of laughter. It causes me to smile. Then something pulls on my ankle and all is black._

_Veronica is curled in a ball, she is whimpering, bruised, bloody. The lovely turquoise dress I saw on Logan's video is now stained with white patches, and I shiver. Red also falls onto the dress, coasting down over her hair, and she's shaking as she looks me in the eye and asks "Why?"_

_I can't answer, and I blink to find Cassidy with an arm wrapped around her. He only mouths the word, and I don't have any more of an answer for him than I did for her. He smiles sadly at my hesitance, and I again focus on Veronica's head wound, eyes zooming further in until neither of them could be seen. When my eyes draw back I gasp to find the wound now belonging to Aaron Echolls, and I press myself against the wall._

"_You little bitch," he spits out blood, and I wince._

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Are you?"_

"_No."_

_He laughs, and I see the spluttering of the red in his mouth land on my face, and on the turquoise party dress I find myself wearing._

"_That's not your color," he tells me wisely, and I don't respond. Turquoise isn't my color, after all. "You're just a slut, Lilly. That's all you'll ever be. A slut and a murderess."_

_He smiles and crawls closer to me, whispering in my ear; "Refill your hands, how she loved you, all you imagined fit so well..."_

It took a few pushes against my shoulder for me to awaken enough to realize Aaron's un-soothing un-nothings were only actually my subconscious telling me my cell was ringing. The dream had me gasping and not in the mood to talk to anyone, but I pulled myself out of the bed and to the offensive object anyway.

I checked the caller ID, but it said "unknown number." No hint as to whoever was calling and how important it could be, so I was forced to answer and find out.

"Hello," I answered, trying to sound less vulnerable than I sounded. "Who is this?"

"So, yeah," I heard the voice on the other side, who sounded a _lot_ worse than I did. "Definitely never doing anything you tell me to ever again."

"Dick?" I asked, panic rising in me. If Dick was calling, what did that mean about Cassidy?

"They found Beav after he ran off, after your little spat. He didn't have to go very far, y'know, roads are pretty much everywhere."

I froze.

"He threw himself in front of a car, Lilly."

"Oh god," I choked out, hoarse, and the image was brutal in my mind. That boy going splat across the tar, driven by a hood that would only show itself as red, rich and shiny. _No, not again, please _God _not again..._

"He's alive. For now, at least. They said it's like, critical. He's unconscious."

I let out my breath. There was hope, at least for now. Cassidy Casablancas might not die.

"Think we should have gone about this a different way?"

"I... I'm so sorry... Where are you?"

He paused, unsure whether he wanted me to know or not. "St. Anthony's," he told me, and hung up before he could consider what he had just done. I dropped my phone back to the table, and turned back to Weevil, shaking and with tears in my eyes.

"Hey," he said with concern, quickly coming to my side. "Lils, what's up?" he ran a hand over my cheek. "You okay? And why's Dick Casablancas calling you anyway?"

I didn't answer his questions, and he pulled me towards his chest. I let myself bask in the warm comfort of him for a few seconds, as he stroked my hair. Then I took a deep breath, hardened myself as best I could, and looked him in the eye.

"There's somewhere we need to go, Weevil."

* * *

I never liked hospitals. I didn't hate them like some people did, and I didn't have any big traumas related to one, but they were still creepy and overly-white.

I held Weevil's hand as tight as I could as we walked to ward 17, where they had told us Cassidy was. Yeah, not family, so they shouldn't have told us, but my waterworks and hundred dollar bills meant a lot to the good folks at St. Anthony's. I was pretty sure I must have been cutting off my boyfriend's circulation, but he wasn't complaining.

When we approached Dick, he didn't look up for look. Just a brief check to see who we were, then eyes went back to the floor. I gripped Weevil's hand tighter, if that was even possible.

"Hey," I said to Dick quietly. "How is he?"

"Unconscious?" The word was slightly slurred, and it didn't surprise me. The only real result I could see from Dick Casablancas and Bad Things was alcohol. "They shouldn't have let you in here. I think it's meant to be just family."

I shrugged. "Money. It does everything," I paused. "They shouldn't have let you have booze, really."

He snorted. "Like they can be bothered knowing."

"Gimme."

He handed me a flask, and I swigged. The burn of whiskey down my throat was a comfort.

I looked toward the room. "Guess we can officially abandon the "I'm being paranoid" theory."

Dick bit his lip. I sighed and continued.

"Are... your parents here, or something?"

"Dude, my mom's in Spain or something. Dad cut out like, hours ago. Some meeting shit. Just couldn't be fucked pretending he cared."

I felt an overwhelming wave of sympathy for him, which was really _not_ something I should have had to feel for Dick Casablancas. I curled my free hand around one of his.

I sighed deeply, and took another swig from the flask. "I want him to be okay," his voice was breaking. "I mean, I... pretty much treat him like shit, and he's a nerd and weird as fuck, but... he's my bro, y'know? He's gotta be okay."

Again with the sympathy. I squeezed his hand tighter, and felt Weevil's palm on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Dick."

He shrugged. "It's not your fault."

_It's not your fault._

I kind of liked the sound of that.


	9. Everybody Puts Lilly In A Corner

**Nine: Everybody Puts Lilly In A Corner**

The looks people gave me when I returned to school the next day were... mixed. There was a lot of anger, because I'd made someone suicidal, _again_, but a few of them looked at me with a kind of respect, for trying to help the guy – those were mostly the ones who had actually seen the fight.

Cassidy wasn't waking up, and the doctors said they really couldn't say if he would or wouldn't. Doctors are annoying like that.

I was just going on with my day when I found myself approached by Sean Friedrich, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Well, that was random.

"Okay, uh, hi. Why are you here?" I asked him as I walked, and he followed.

"Okay, for the record, I_ hate_ the fact I'm talking to you," he warned, and we were already off to a bad start. "But... there's really something you ought to know. Dick told me about Veronica, what happened at Logan's party."

I paused. "Wait... do you know who did it? What, how?!"

He shrugged. "I'm making an educated guess. Dick told me he saw Caitlin Ford put her in a guest room, the one near the kitchen."

I felt confused and anxious. "Yeah, and...?"

"Well, uh, I tried to get into that room a bit later. And Caitlin hadn't left it."

Gulp.

"But, well, she was clearly screwing someone in there. She shooed me off; she was all naked and sweaty. I didn't really care at the time, but..."

He trailed off, and I shook my head. No. No, Caitlin wouldn't – she was my friend! She had told me what happened...

And it had made no sense with what everyone else said. With what she had said before. And I had trusted her anyway.

Sean saw my eyes, and the fact they were tormented. "Uh, sorry... Caitlin's a friend of yours, right, so you don't believe me?"

I shook my head. "She's not my friend anymore."

* * *

I was trying not to cry when I finally saw Caitlin. The bitch was _not_ going to see me cry because she betrayed me. She wasn't good enough for that.

"Caitlin?" I asked her with faux-cheer, voice breaking. "I think we need to talk a little."

She looked confused as she followed me into an empty classroom, God I was spending too much time in empty classrooms. "What's up, Lils?"

"Tell me about September 27th, Logan's party," I hissed at her, and her brow furrowed.

"Uh, didn't I like, already do all that?"

I shook my head. "Not quite. Not the truth. See girlfriend, funny thing happened. One of the guys at that party said he saw you in the guest room near the kitchen. He kind of caught you, uh, _in flagrante_. In the same room Dick saw you bring V intro, the same room she woke up in."

Caitlin's face clouded over, and I took a step back. "I guess I should have seen it when your account didn't mix with everyone else's, but hey – gender stereotypes, they're everywhere."

Caitlin chuckled, and I quickly wiped away the tear that fell. "Go on, Caitlin. Deny it," I paused, and my voice switched from angry to pleading. "Please, tell me it wasn't you."

She shrugged. "I'm not sure I'm a good enough liar for that, Lils."

My breathing quickened. God, it was her. "No. No... Caitlin... God, how could you _do_ that?!"

"I know, it was kind of hard with her unconscious and me not having a dick and all. But hey, all the relevant bits were still there, and even unconscious fingers-"

"God, shut up!" I screamed, failing not to sob. "I _trusted_ you, you bitch!"

"Well you're a moron, clearly. But it's not like I betrayed you – this was months before we were really friends."

She was my friend, just like Veronica was. I bit my lip. "Caitlin, _why_? Do I deserve that, at least? To know?"

The mocking-evil light in her eyes faded, and was replaced by cold calculation. "I think you already do."

She walked out after that, and I didn't have the energy to stop her. I sunk to my feet and buried my head in my knees. No, this _couldn't_ be happening, it was not happening.

A shiver ran down my spine. If Caitlin raped Veronica, did that mean she was the one to kill her? But then again, why? Would it just be some obsession with V, killing her for some sick sexual thrill? I couldn't think of Caitlin having another motive, as it wouldn't be like V was going to go forward, at least not accusing Caitlin – she thought Logan had done it.

I didn't go my next class; I was hardly going to understand trigonometry with the thought of Alive Best Friend raping Dead Best Friend. I just sat in the classroom, sobbing into my knees.

I must have been sitting there for all of fifth period, but when sixth period started, an actual class entered. The problem with breaking down in classrooms.

"Lilly Kane?" the teacher asked. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?"

I didn't bother lying to her, since anyone curled up in a ball all red-eyed was never really going to be _okay. _The truth was more original. "Not so much."

"Do you need to go the nurse?"

The whole class was staring at me, and I didn't really need to go to the nurse, but if I said no, I would be forced to go to my actual class, and I was not ready to cope with that. So I nodded.

"I'll take her," I heard one of the boys volunteer, and I swiveled my head to find out who. I was annoyed by it, because I was having a bad enough day without having to deal with Mr. Humiliation, Marcos freaking Oliveres.

Bastard.

"I can make it on my own," I told him defensively, rising to my feet and trying not to shake.

He raised an eyebrow. "I think you'll be better off if I go with you."

I didn't really have the energy to make him go away, so I let him follow me out of the room. I sighed angrily. "So, if this is meant to be like, your form of making it up to me, it's a bit small. And badly timed."

He shook his head, and stopped walking, softly grabbing my arm.

"Lilly," he said gravely, and his eyes were glazed like he was fighting back tears. "I've... kinda gotta tell you something."

"If it's "sorry", don't bother."

He snorted and leaned back against one of the lockers. "Nothing to do with that. I know you hate me, but I think I'm better off telling you than like, his family or something."

I leaned against the locker next to him, confusion evident on my face. "Okay, wait – who are we talking about?"

"Beaver," he informed me, and my breath caught. He knew something? "I saw that fight, you're the one who figured out something was up. And, yeah, you're right – he's not fine. Neither am I, really," his face crumpled as he tried harder to fight off those fears, and my anger quickly faded.

"Oh, god," I muttered. "Marcos... can you tell me what happened? To you? To Cassidy?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I can tell you. Me and Beav, we... played for the same Little League team. We were, I don't know, eleven?" he paused. "And, well, the coach? Thought we were _unhappy_. Alone. He thought he could take care of us. It... didn't work quite how he was imagining."

I bit my lip as the tears he was battling started to escape. I automatically lifted my hand to his arm to comfort him, but he shook it off. "Don't feel sorry for me."

I shrugged. "Can't... really help it. Marcos... who?"

He looked at me dubiously. "Who actually coaches Little League, in Neptune?"

Neptune was tiny, so we had only one Little League coach. Woody Goodman, rich man and renowned philanthropist. The whole town adored him, and I had met the man at many society functions before my life went to hell. Everyone else had liked him, but I thought he was creepy – like the 50s "Leave It To Beaver" persona would have to be hiding something.

So occasionally, I did know people after all.

Marcos sunk to the ground, and I followed. "So... what are you going to do, Marcos?"

He shrugged. "If Beaver's throwing himself in front of automobiles now, I guess it's a sign that something has to be done. Like I have to come forward – and, well, there were others. Not just Beav and me."

I nodded, and he went on. "I guessed I should tell Beaver's family, y'know, what happened to him. But I thought that would go weird, that I'd be better off telling someone not that directly involved, but who still, y'know, was relevant. You were pretty much the biggest name on the list."

"Flattering," I said. "God, this day just keeps getting worse and worse."

He looked vaguely offended. "Well, sorry my childhood trauma is annoying you."

I shook my head. "Hey, I'm listening. And we'll talk to the Casablancases, we'll talk to the Sheriff, we'll make the bastard pay," I paused. "If they'll believe us."

"Do you believe me?"

"Yeah. I mean, for the record?" I told him. "I still don't like you, or forgive you for what you did. But this is way more important than that, so I'm going to put it aside."

He sighed. "So, Lilly... what had you bawling on the floor of the classroom for however long?"

"I..." my voice trailed off and I felt the tears coming again. Dammit. "I've had a terrible day. I just found out one of my living best friends _raped_ my dead best friend, like, back in September."

He looked stunned, and puzzled. "Wait, what? Hey, but that friend of yours, that Wallace guy? Wasn't _here_ in September."

I shook my head. "Not Wallace. Caitlin."

"Isn't she a chick?"

"You don't say?"

He shook his head. "Okay, yeah, gender stereotypes. Blame my parents, they're kind of ultra-conversative."

I shrugged.

We sat there in silence for a while, stewing in pain.

* * *

The Casablancas estate seemed very much a Rich Peoples' House. It was big and grandiose, but it seemed clinical, not like a house anyone actually lived in.

Dick answered the door with a puzzled expression, and I sighed. "Hey Dick. Can I come in?"

He stepped back and let me through, and I tried to remember when I had last been to this house. I thought it must have been around April, some party or another.

"Is your dad here?"

Dick shook his head. "More business shit. Why are you here?"

I sighed. "I guess that leaves it up to you, to tell your Dad. My next stop's the Sheriff's department."

Dick raised an eyebrow. "Okay... that's weird. Seriously, what's going on?"

I sighed. "I figured out what happened to Cassidy."

Dick choked on his breath, "What? How? What happened? Who do I have to kill?"

"Woody Goodman," I told him quickly, and he looked taken aback.

"Like... the Little League coach dude, Woody Goodman?"

I nodded. "Your brother played Little League, didn't he?" Dick nodded, and I continued. "So, I had a talk with another boy on the team – Marcos Oliveres. He said Woody had thought they were, uh, "unhappy." And his idea of helping, well... let's say he's not called "Woody" for nothing."

Dick shook his head. "Ew. And, what the fuck. And, uh, that bastard is a dead man."

"All justified reactions," I replied. "But first, I'm going to the Sheriff. Marcos is just outside, he's my actual proof."

Dick nodded and sat down. "He never wanted to play Little League," he muttered. I froze. "He only signed up because Dad was forcing him to do _something_. He was always begging to quit the team, I... I thought it was just him being a pussy again..." his voice was starting to fracture, and I winced. "Lilly, what if he dies?"

I wanted to tell him it wouldn't happen, but I wasn't optimistic enough to believe that. "If he dies... It'll suck. And you'll feel guilty. And wish a million times you could have done something differently. And slowly, it'll start to hurt less. You'll start to forgive yourself. You'll imagine they could forgive you, even if you know it's just a comforting lie," I paused and smiled. "And yeah, I'm projecting at you."

He nodded. "Logan's mom," he said. "You know, I almost forgot about that."

_And dad,_ my mind added, but I quickly shut the thought down. That was different. "You know, sometimes, I almost forget about it too. And then I hate myself for forgetting. And, you know, for making it happen in the first place."

We both paused.

"I don't want it to happen again."

* * *

The Sheriff's department was too musty, capturing and magnifying the California heat. I used to find it all cosy, but with the changes to my life and opinion of the Sheriff, my opinion of the department followed suit.

Marcos was sitting in front of Keith, who was nodding slowly at his testimony. I bit my lip, really not wanting to hear the details that were spilling out of my pseudo-enemy's mouth, but I had to stay, and he deserved to be heard.

"Lamb," Keith called out to a deputy. "Issue a warrant for the arrest of Woodrow 'Woody' Goodman."

Lamb looked confused at the instruction. "Woody Goodman? What are we arresting _him_ for?"

"Child molestation."

Lambs eyes bugged out in cartoonishly. "_What?_ Are you sure?"

"Not a hundred percent, no," Keith reprimanded him. "But I've got a seemingly-reliable witness and a boy who just threw himself in front of a car, so I think we should go ask some questions."

I smiled despite myself. _That_ was the Keith I knew.

Lamb took the reprimand and turned to go, but my smile fell as a called "Wait!"

The law officers looked at me with confusion, and I sighed deeply. "You need to issue another warrant."

"For who?" asked Keith.

"Caitlin Ford."

Lamb snorted. "Her? I've met Caitlin Ford. What did she do, forget her pin number during a bank robbery?"

"Rape," my voice shook on the word.

"Okay," said Lamb. "Now you're just taking the piss."

I shook my head. "Wish I was. I mean, I trusted her, and she..." I trailed off, and Keith looked at me with pure sympathy.

"I'm so sorry, Lilly."

I realized what he thought. "Oh, no, Keith. No, not me."

He looked somewhat relieved, but that was quickly ended by my next word – well, name.

"Veronica."

There was dead silence throughout the room.

"How do you know?" Keith asked me, and I sighed.

"A while ago, someone left me Veronica's old diary. It said what had happened – but I didn't give it to you, because she thought Logan Echolls had done it, and I wanted to check before letting you go murder him."

I paused.

"Logan gave an alibi, I confirmed, that was that. But before, I first called Caitlin – my _friend_ Caitlin – and she gave me evidence that didn't fit with what I later heard, and what she had told me before."

Lamb's brow furrowed. "Wait, it didn't fit with what she had told you before? How did she not get that?"

"Caitlin pointed at Logan's alibi before I got the diary, but she didn't give me a when. We all kind of assumed it was the influence of too much alcohol, that it didn't happen. Then Logan said it happened, Cassidy confirmed it, so that was that."

"Cassidy?" Lamb asked. "The same maybe-molested Cassidy?"

I nodded. "Yeah, whatever. It doesn't matter."

"But how did you arrive at the conclusion Caitlin did it?"

I pursed my lips. "Caitlin told me she saw Logan bring V into a particular guest room, where V woke up. Then Dick Casablancas said he saw Caitlin bring her into the room instead."

Keith shook his head. "Lilly, that's not enough ev-"

"I'm not finished," I told him. "One more witness started talking to me, he said he had caught Caitlin _in flagrante_ in that room, but he couldn't see who she was with. Add it all together, Caitlin's the only real possibility, and besides, when I asked her... she admitted it."

Keith looked like he was holding back sobs. "I didn't know."

I shook my head, identifying with the feeling. "I didn't either."

"Why didn't she tell me?"

I shook my head. "Wish I knew."

Marcos shuffled awkwardly in his seat, Keith leaned back, and I wrung my hands.

"I'll go issue those warrants," offered Lamb pathetically, and we all just nodded at him. He left, and Marcos stood.

"Come on Lilly. We should go."

"You go," I wanted to talk to Keith, and I really didn't want to spend that much time with Marcos. "I... kinda need a word with the sheriff."

Marcos looked a little confused, but accepted it. He wandered out and I was left looking Keith in the eyes.

"Does this mean Caitlin killed her?" Keith asked me, and I just shrugged.

"I don't really know," I told him, then paused, trying a tactful approach. "Keith," I asked. "What made you so sure Celeste killed Veronica?"

"Lilly-"

"Just. Answer me."

He took a long, deep breath. "She couldn't account for her whereabouts at the time of the murder."

"Which you now have photographic proof of."

"Veronica's body was on her property."

"And three other people's."

"Her blood-splattered suit."

"Wasn't even necessarily hers."

"She had motive."

"As did Jake, Lianne, Duncan, you... anyone in that mess. And now, anyone involved in September 27th."

"We found Veronica's blood washed down her plumbing, someone trying to clean the blood off."

"That was me!" I exclaimed. "The thought of walking around coated in her blood? Not something I was looking forward too."

He closed his eyes and told me quietly: "I needed to know."

I just looked blankly at him.

"I just needed to know who had done it, to make them pay and put it behind me, because if it dragged on I'd never survive it. So I clung to the best idea I could see."

I sighed. "You hurt me so badly, Keith. You hurt all of us."

"I know," he said, and he looked ashamed. "Veronica would never forgive me."

I shrugged. "She'd be disappointed. Horrified, probably. But she'd get over it. That was V – she never stopped giving chances."

Keith sighed. "Tell me you've become like her?"

I reached out and squeezed his hand. "I try."

I walked put of that office with half a smile on my face. Yes, I my life was still a mess. Yes, I had been betrayed. But I was going to be okay.

The Fabulous Lilly Kane demanded it.


	10. The Kanes Will Not Be Returning

**Ten: The Kanes Will Not Be Returning**

"Lilly!" I heard Duncan call to me. "You've really got to see the news."

I paused, because historically, Duncan telling me to see the news hadn't shown me anything good. I drew myself toward the screen and found myself looking into Caitlin's sharp blue eyes.

"Police are appealing for any information on the whereabouts of this girl, Caitlin Ford. She is a suspect in the rape and later murder of one Veronica Mars..."

The newscaster's voice didn't really trail off, but it did in my mind. I buried my head in my hands. "She ran."

"...You knew?"

"I only figured out today," I muttered quietly. "And I still don't know if she was the killer or not."

"When?"

"September 27th," I muttered. "About a week before V..."

Duncan bit his lip. "We should have protected her."

"We were in Europe, Duncan."

Somehow, that didn't comfort either of us.

* * *

When Logan approached me at school, I resigned myself to whatever massive blow was coming next. "Hey Logan," I told him as I walked, and he stayed by my side. "What massive drama's happening now?"

He shrugged. "Well, Caitlin, Veronica, Beaver, but you know everything about those things," he shrugged, and I sighed.

"What big clue is there now?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. I'm just talking."

I paused and raised an eyebrow. That... didn't really happen.

"Uh. Okay, then," I responded. "Are you really sure you want to have this talk? With _me_, of all people?"

"Veronica thought I did it," he muttered, and I stopped in my tracks, staring up at him. "I mean, I was one of her best friends, but she heard and she never even asked, she just assumed it was me," he hesitated. "Did she trust me that little?"

I shifted uncomfortably, not really having an answer. "V had some serious issues, Logan. The rational thought thing was a bit out of reach."

"You thought I did it."

I shook my head. "No. No, I didn't."

He conceded that. "Let me rephrase – you thought I could have done it. Enough to go looking for an alibi."

I bit my lip both at the guilt, and at the reminder of Cassidy. "I couldn't just rule you out on my gut, Logan. Objective and open-minded, that's me. Ish."

He gave me a weak smile, and slowly we started walking again. "You wouldn't have happened to have heard anything more about your alibi?"

"Nothing new. Unconscious, molested, yada yada," I nodded at that – I probably would have been told, one way or the other, if anything big had happened with Cassidy. "I feel kind of guilty," Logan told me, and I was puzzled. "About that party," he explained.

"Why?"

"I feel like I took advantage. And I think I should have asked some questions after – he was acting pretty weird. I guess I shrugged it off as being part of the guy-thing, him freaking. Or maybe that was just something I told myself," he continued, and I frowned.

"Hey. At least you had some sort of innocent explanation for his weirdness – I didn't, and it still took me like, more than half a year to start asking questions," I paused. "You know, I hadn't thought of it that way before. Taking advantage."

Logan shrugged. "Well, you're still a chick, so it's... kind of different."

"Oh, again with the gender thing. No-one's been breaking rules like that recently."

"Hey. I'm sorry, about Caitlin," Logan told me, and I just shrugged.

I pressed my lips tight. "Hey, I was a moron. Gave my trust too quick, when she'd really done nothing to earn it. I... identified with her. With the Chardo mess, with the 09ers turning on her," I surmised, and Logan looked almost sympathetic. "That's me, of course. Fucking up wherever I go."

"I kind of noticed that, really."

I sighed. "And, of course, I managed to give her the chance to get away," Logan looked confused. "Confronted her about it before I went to the cops, hence giving her time to get the hell out of dodge. I just... _needed_ her to tell me it wasn't her. But she didn't bother, so..."

"Would you have believed her if she had?"

"I didn't believe Celeste."

We both froze at that. "Yeah. I have issues."

Logan nodded. "I really believe that."

"Logan... have you forgiven me? For what happened to your mom?"

He hesitated. "I don't really know. You're still a slut and a bitch. And I probably should still hate you... I shouldn't ever really get over it. But when it comes down to it, you didn't make her jump off that bridge. It was so much easier, for so long, to blame you for what she did."

I sighed. "I can't imagine what she'd say, right now. Aaron and Duncan and Caitlin and... and I wish she was here. I wish you weren't alone."

"I don't think my mom would cope anyway. Not enough to help. She'd just pop some more pills with her wine and try to forget."

"Respectful."

"My mom wasn't that great. Doesn't matter. I loved her."

I nodded. "I know. You loved her and she loved you, and that was the closest thing to good the Echolls household ever saw," I explained. "You know, sometimes I fucking hate myself."

"Good," it didn't sound bitter like it should have, and I didn't feel offended at the comment.

"Actually, Logan," I bit my lip. "When I confronted Caitlin, she asked me why I did it. And she said I probably already knew."

"So is someone projecting her lesbian tendencies or what?"

"I have an "or what" theory. I'll need in your house, Logan, at some point."

He looked confused, but accepted. "Okay. Just figure it out. For Veronica's sake."

He wandered off, and my face remained blank.

* * *

At home, Duncan was sitting stiller than I had ever seen him – even in the aftermath of one of his episodes, which always left him near-catatonic, he never seemed as dead as this. I grew worried.

"Hey, Donut," I told him, and he didn't respond. "Hey, what's up? You look like, paralysed."

After a few seconds, he spoke. "I found them, Lilly."

I blinked once or twice, and then my attention was drawn to the fact he had a laptop by his side, barely visible from the angle I was standing at. _My_ laptop.

"Oh god."

"I don't think he had much to do with it," he corrected me, and I winced. "Keith lied to you."

I was a little confused at _that_ being his first thought, but I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, he did."

"But you don't think he did it."

I shook my head. "If he did, he lies like a mofo. And I can't think of a real motive – so yeah, I believe he was just out of mind with grief and convinced of one suspect."

"You think I did it."

I was waiting for that.

"No. No, Duncan. I don't _know_ who did it. I can't know that, you know that."

"I'm on your files."

"There are like, a dozen people on my files."

"And I'm one of them."

"You were her boyfriend, Duncan. Recent ex-boyfriend with a _really_ messy breakup. I kinda have to put it down."

He shook his head. "I don't believe this. Who the hell do you think you are, Lilly?!"

"_I_ am Veronica's best friend! Did you just, you know, forget that?" I asked him, temper swelling, possibly unjustifiably.

"You put down my epilepsy, my episodes. Do you really think that's possible, that it could make me _do_ that?"

"Hurt someone you loved? Yes, I think it's possible!" He scoffed, and I went on. "Come on Donut, your memory can't be that bad – sure, you can't remember the moments, but we never lied to you – so please, lets pay attention to the girl who carried around the bruises to prove it!"

"You said I was a killer, Lilly! What the hell?"

"You _are_, Duncan!" I yelled at him. "It been, what, two weeks? Less? You seriously can't have forgotten already."

"Aaron?" he asked coldly. "The bastard who was _throttling you to death_?"

"Yeah. That one. Okay, yeah, it doesn't make sense, and yeah, he had it coming, and yeah, you did the right thing! I know this, I get this, believe me!"

"Then why does it matter, Lilly? Why am I a killer?"

"Because you know it too!" I screamed. "You know you were in the right, you listen to all those reasons, but they're _not meant to work, _DK! They're meant to be what gets you through the day, as long as you don't look too close," I explained. "Because take them all away, and what we're left with? Is the fact that less than a fortnight ago, you _killed a man_... and I don't even think you care."

"Frankly, Lilly?" He paused, and I already knew the end to the sentence. "I don't."

Suddenly he was _gone_, out the front door with the help staring. I sighed and collapsed onto the couch.

I was having a _really_ bad week.

* * *

You know, I really appreciated school a lot more than I would ever indicate. Back when my life didn't suck, I had hated it as a distraction from anything that really mattered – friends, boys, and well, that was pretty much the list – but now, I liked having these quiet hours of letters and numbers, quiet monotony, even when it made me want to scream with boredom, or when the mess of my life showed up during those days.

Duncan had disappeared. Well, not really, he had just taken out a room at the Neptune Grand, but he wasn't showing up at school. I couldn't bring myself to go there and _try_ to talk that mess out, or at least get him to stop playing truant.

So it was just me and Wallace sitting at lunch, with Duncan going nuts and Caitlin being a sociopathic rapist. "You know," I heard him say. "We really ought to do something. You need to start just hanging out again, girl."

"I think if I tried to hang out, it would result in a gross body count. But thanks for the offer, Wally."

"Did you just call me "Wally?""

"I know. I should be hanged."

"Though seriously, you gotta get to let go of some of the crazy investigative-ness. Lets recap; so far you've cleared your mom of murder, uncovered a rapist, caught a child molester, and caught your stalker. Do you ever stop?"

I shrugged. I really tried not to think about it like that – sure the madness of my life was _exhausting_, but I didn't really mind. My crime solving was generally a good thing, occasionally with bad consequences, but it felt purposeful. After the damage I had inflicted in my short life, the good I did mattered. It felt redemptive.

"We should like, just go to the movies or whatever. Not a mystery," he stressed, and I smiled.

"I'd like that. Sunday, around two?" I confirmed.

Wallace shrugged. "Sure."

The more cynical part of me was wondering how exactly he would let me down eventually, and if whatever-it-was would be at all forgivable. A small, optimistic voice dared to say he might not.

I wasn't quite sure which one of them I should have been listening too.

* * *

I had never actually been to a jail cell before; I had certainly never visited my mother. All the fun times with me and Duncan's emancipation paperwork had been done in courtrooms, and I had never wanted to see Celeste again.

The room was cool and filled with an eerie green light, women held in stalls, one after the other. No wonder this is where they put the evil.

"Hey Mom," I whispered into the phone. "So how have you been?"

She looked thin, near-sickly. For the first time I could remember, I was seeing my mother minus the trappings, with messed-up hair and no make-up.

"I've been better, Lilly," she replied icily, and I winced. She really wasn't happy to see me.

"You didn't kill Veronica, Mom," I stated the obvious. "You were right all along about Keith," I continued, and she just stared blankly at me. "But, have mercy. He should never have been on the case – he went... pretty much nuts about it," I shrugged helplessly.

"I'm sorry," I told her. "If... if it means anything. I'm sorry. I should have believed you," I paused. "So... does it mean anything?"

"A little," she replied, and my hope dared to raise its head a little. "Just not enough."

My hope was a dumbass.

I pressed my lips together. "You're not going to forgive me, forgive anyone, are you?"

She shook her head. "I can't Lilly. Not now, maybe not ever. We can't go back – I was the victim. You had a choice between them and me, Lilly, and you chose them. I can't just forget that."

I nodded slowly. It made sense. "Why didn't you say you were at the Neptune Grand during the trial? Could have saved a lot of trouble."

She looked away from me. "It's complicated."

I chose not to press the issue; I pretty much had no right to. "Okay. I guess it doesn't matter now."

She shrugged. "Not a lot does."

"Whoo Nihilism," I said flatly, and she gave a small smile.

"Why did you come here, Lilly?"

"Am I meant to know?"

"Did you come for forgiveness? Did you expect me not to hold a grudge, to let you back in, to forget everything? I would have thought you knew me a little better than that."

Her words caused a lump to form in my throat, no matter how much I was expecting them. "Mom," I whimpered. "Don't you love me anymore?"

Pathetic, I know.

She sighed. "You're my daughter, so yes, I always will. But that's just not enough anymore," she paused, grip on the phone loosening. "Don't come here again."

She hung up, and I exited shakily. When I crawled back into my car, I was surprised to find_ wasn't_ holding back tears. I wasn't even all that upset – there had been much worse incidents lately.

I began to understand myself. Sure, I had come here _wanting_ forgiveness, but I had came here _needing_ exactly what I got. I needed a clean slate, a rejection of the old life, an official marker that things would never be "okay" again.

I wasn't expecting hell on Earth or anything – I expected Duncan to come back, I expected Logan to fully forgive me _eventually,_ I expected Cassidy to wake up, I expected Mom to let us back in some day. But it would never be the same, and the troubles of the last year or so _weren't_ just temporary.

I looked back down at my phone, shakily dialing the number I hadn't let Duncan see me record to my contacts.

"Hello?" the voice answered, and it caused a smile.

"Hey Dad," I said without an inch of hesitation in my voice. "Mind if I stop by?"

* * *

I spilled all to Dad. Keith, Duncan, Caitlin, Aaron, Cassidy, Marcos, every inch of pain and hope falling to the one person who was meant to protect me – and I really wasn't sure if he had.

Dad pulled me against his chest and kissed the top of my forehead. "You're incredible, Lilly. I'm part proud, part mortified."

I welcomed the embrace, the feeling of being babied and comforted. "I'm a confusing creature, I know."

He sighed. "Maybe I should never have left. Maybe I should have believed in your mother. I don't know."

I shrugged. "Maybe you should have stayed, but maybe if you did Aaron really would have killed me. Maybe you should have believed, but maybe that would have made everything worse," I elaborated. "Maybe you should have just stayed away from Lianne Mars in the first place. But there's no going back. So it doesn't matter anymore. Now, I'm gonna figure out who killed my best friend, then I'm going to be okay."

Dad smiled at me. "Sounds like someone had an epiphany."

"Something like that," I pulled away from his hug. "Have you seen Duncan, around here?"

He nodded. "He's shown up... quite a bit, really. He seems pretty bad off. What you said – which he wouldn't tell me about, so only now I get it – it seems to have gotten to him."

I shrugged with a twinge of guilt. "I don't want to hurt him," I explained. "I was worried. And guilty. I hate the fact a guy died because of me, I guess I took it out on him."

Dad shrugged. "You might have had a point, Lilly. He killed someone."

I nodded, then turned to check the time. "I should get home," I said, giving him a brief hug. "See you later, Dad."

As I walked out of the hotel, I heard my brother's voice call out. "Lilly?"

I turned around to face him. "Hey, Donut," I said softly, looking him in the eyes. It took me a few seconds to realize he was shaking.

"Lilly," he repeated, voice breaking. "I care."

Slowly, he began to let out choking sobs, and I quickly chose to be the Good Big Sister, and I wrapped my arms around him.

"Come on, DK. Come home."


	11. Papa's Cabinet

_**A/N: **Wow, penultimate chapter. You know, when I started this, I never imagined that it's be finished this fast. Or, y'know, that I'd manage to finish it at all. Well. Anyway, the "Mystery Speculation Form" down the bottom is something I stole from . I'm not sure I really have enough reviewers for it too work, but hey, there are like 20 people with this story on their Story Alert lists. It's pretty simple - just answer the questions with what you think will happen. And more likely than not, you will be woefully wrong. Ha._

* * *

**Eleven: Papa's Cabinet**

It must have been 3 AM when my phone started ringing at me. My phone was an evil, disgusting kitten-raping son of a bitch.

"Hey?" I asked to a number I hadn't recognized, but that had felt somewhat familiar. "Who is this? Could it seriously not have waited until the hours of daylight?"

The voice on the other end came out choked and hoarse. "He woke up," it said with overwhelming, indecipherable emotion, and I gasped and grinned. The voice hung up quickly, and I pulled on clothes.

* * *

"Hey," I greeted Dick as he stood outside his brother's hospital room, staring through the blinds at his little brother. "Got the call."

"Well, you answered, so I figured."

I nodded, peering through the windows to look at the woken boy. He was staring up at the ceiling without any expression, and if he had noticed my arrival, it didn't show.

"Why is he alone?" I asked Dick with some harshness, and he looked vaguely offended.

"Because he's nuts. We told him we now know about that Goodman perv, so now he won't talk. At all. Or even let us stay in the room," he explained, and I nodded. I stepped toward the door slowly, wondering if it would really be a good idea to try talking to Cassidy – given our last conversation.

"Wait," Dick interrupted, not quite reading my thoughts. "Uh, he won't talk to anyone, and after the spaz-fit he chucked at you, that might be a bit, y'know, worse," Dick elaborated. I shrugged.

"I know. But I need to talk to him."

Cassidy didn't look my way when I entered the room. I wasn't entirely sure how to start the conversation, so I tried something basic. "Hey Cassidy."

His eyes turned toward me, but the face didn't gain an expression, of anger or gratitude or anything. "Lilly. It's 3 AM."

"Actually, now it's more like four. But hey, what's time when you've been in a coma for however long?"

He shrugged. "Who called you?"

"Dick."

Cassidy nodded and chuckled. "So, you were the one to find out? To bring it to the Good Sheriff? Tell me Lilly, how exactly did that little super-sleuth brain of yours figure it out?"

I shuffled uncomfortably. "Uh, Marcos told me. Not impressive, especially since I freaking hate Marcos, but hey – I did figure out the thing with Veronica. The one you refused to let me investigate, remember that?"

"Sort of," he answered. "Wait – why do you hate Marcos? You even know Marcos?"

"Yeah. Sort of," I replied, and Cassidy raised an eyebrow at me. "Okay, turns out, Marcos was the one Aaron bribed to release those abortion photos to the school. So that pissed me off."

Cassidy's brow furrowed. "That doesn't sound much like Marcos."

I shrugged. "Well, he was only doing it to get the fifty grand for his family, or whatever. That kind of actually pissed me off worse, because it meant I couldn't just be angry at him. Annoying."

Cassidy nodded. "So – what even happened, with Veronica? Since you insist on interrupting her business as much as mine, you mind telling me what you discovered?"

I sighed. "It was... Caitlin. It was Caitlin Ford who did it," I informed him, hating the quaver in my voice as I said so.

"Didn't see that one coming," he responded.

"Neither did I," I admitted. "She was a friend."

Cassidy's eyes went back to the ceiling, and I pressed my lips together. "You could have just said, you know. About what Woody did to you."

He turned back to me. "Except that would mean you'd know, and that was sort of against the whole point," he paused, and his face finally betrayed emotion – deep sadness. "I just didn't want anyone to know."

I sighed, and took the seat by the bed. "Well, given no-one knowing made you go all mildly psychotic, I kinda think the discovery was a good thing."

He snorted. "Do you expect me to thank you?"

"One day," I told him matter-of-factly. "Not today, of course. Right now, you're still all fucked up and traumatized. But I think, someday, you'll think you were going to self-destruct before I came in with my questions. So yeah, then you'll thank me."

Cassidy shrugged helplessly. "Just don't expect it to be any time soon. Now, I'm just pissed that you couldn't mind your own business."

"I know," I reached across and squeezed his hand. "And I'll sleep just fine."

* * *

I really, really didn't want to be awake that morning, since I had sneaked out in the middle of the night to visit Cassidy – although "sneaking" may be inaccurate, as I was only avoiding waking him up not to disturb him, and I left a note and all – and now I was seriously sleep deprived. And I had always hated mornings anyway. However, I felt the need to stay with Duncan as he ate his breakfast, since Duncan was still trying to deal with what happened to Aaron, and I was sort of on nervous-breakdown-watch.

"You know," Duncan said after I let my a forth big yawn. "You could just go back to bed. I'm not going to do anything stupid."

We paused, and I really couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't come off horribly patronizing. So I said nothing.

"I get it," Duncan continued after a few seconds. "You know that I'm... well... You don't think you should leave me alone right now. Even if it leads to you falling asleep on the table."

I shrugged. "No-longer-unconscious boys in hospital. Blame them."

"How was Beav?" Duncan asked.

"Damaged. And rather pissed off," I stated. "But I think he'll be okay. Eventually. After much therapy."

"Poor kid," Duncan muttered, and I agreed wholeheartedly. "But you think he'll work through it. Deal."

I shrugged. "I hope so. I read somewhere that most child abuse victims do go on to live happy, healthy lives."

"What about most murderers?"

My blood chilled. "Duncan-"

"I know, I know, really could have found a smoother segue for that," Duncan said with a slight smile that did nothing to reassure me, and my concern grew. "But I really... _don't know_ what to do now. About Aaron. About the fact I feel guilty. Because, when it comes down to it – I killed a guy, and it sucks. But Aaron _was_ bastard. He _was_ trying to kill you. If I was in that position again, I don't think I'd do anything different. And that makes me feel even worse about the whole thing."

I sighed. "Big problem, Donut, seems to be you're seeing it as a choice. You can feel bad you killed him, and you can choose you wouldn't take it back. For my sake."

"You still haven't answered the "what the hell do I do?" question."

"I don't really think there's an answer to that one."

* * *

The Echolls household hadn't changed all that much recently. Or not-recently, since my only recent visit was rather short and I wasn't paying all that much attention to the interior decorating.

"Hey Logan," I said when he greeted me. "Detective Girlie has made her appearance."

He let me in and I stepped forward, eyes briefly drawn up the stairs, to where Aaron was killed. Bastard could still hurt me once he was dead, just by virtue of being dead, in what alternate universe was that fair?

"So, Lilly," Logan said, drawing my attention away from upstairs. "You never actually said why you're here, what you think happened with Caitlin."

"I need to go to the poolroom."

Logan snorted. "That makes sense."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. I know. But my whorishness is not the point here. Caitlin's, however, might be."

Logan blinked a few times before he got it. "Wait, you think my dad screwed Caitlin?"

"Maybe. Caitlin told me I understood why she did it. There are few things that Caitlin and I caused, or almost caused. Pain to Aaron Echolls is one of them."

Logan looked confused. "Wait, how'd Caitlin hurt him?"

I sighed. "_Almost_ hurt him. Sure, Aaron was an evil abusive son of a bitch, but honestly, if you'd gone to jail for rape? I don't think he'd have been Mr. Happy Go Lucky about it."

"Oh," Logan said. "Yeah, Veronica thought it was me. I keep trying to forget that."

I shrugged. "Sorry. But it might be important, so..."

"Yeah," Logan said sadly, avoiding my eyes. "To the pool house?"

"Let's."

* * *

Aaron Echolls' pool house was a lot like the man himself. Superficially attractive, sure, but horrifying to see if you knew it well; tinged with the sleazy, musky scent of sex.

"Wave of nostalgia, Lilly?" Logan taunted me. Wave of nausea would be more accurate, but I kept my mouth shut.

I walked over to the wall where I remembered finding the taping equipment, and pulling it aside, I found it had not changed at all.

"That doesn't really help us, Lilly. We're looking for old tapes, remember?"

I remembered. "They should be near here," I said, and crouching down, I found another hidden door to pull aside. Suddenly, I was staring at a wide cabinet filled with tapes, each marked with the woman's initials.

"I fucking hate my dad," I heard Logan mutter behind me, and I completely concurred.

We poured our eyes over the shelves of initials, looking for a _CF._ I was the one to spot it, with a twinge of grim satisfaction. "Here."

Logan and I both paused. "We actually have to play it and check it's her, huh?" he asked me, and I nodded with a grimace.

"It sounds disgusting to me too. So I'm hoping it is her, just so we don't watch the fucking tape for nothing."

Logan nodded slowly, and I inserted the tape into the player. We were rewarded with the image of Caitlin on top of Aaron, writhing.

"_I love you," Caitlin whispers to Aaron. "Always have, always will."_

_Aaron grins. "Love you too, baby."_

"Turn it off," I ordered Logan harshly, and he was only too quick to obey. Well, at least now, I had some facts. I had the why of what Caitlin did, even if I could never bring myself to contemplate _how_ she could do that.

"_Aaron... Aaron, baby, what are you saying?" Caitlin has tears in her eyes, and Aaron chuckles dismissively. "Didn't this mean anything to you? Ever?" she whimpers, and Aaron turns to face her without his face betraying any emotion other than amusement._

"_In the end? Not a single thing," he mocks her, and she steps back like she's been slapped. "You were just another dumb blond piece of ass who offered it up... well, you know how you offered it up."_

"_I can't believe you're saying these things to me," she shakes her head on the words. "You said... you said you loved me, sweetie."_

"_I lied. And you were just too thick to notice it – I seriously cannot believe that's never happened to someone as _dumb_ as you before."_

"_I'm not dumb," she warns him harshly, and he looks surprised. "You don't know a single thing about me, Aaron."_

"_I know you're a moron and a slut. That's two things," he dismisses, and she reaches up to slap him. "Ooh!" he's interested by her anger, and grins. "Fiesty. Although I kinda learned that already. What do you say, baby – one last time?"_

_Caitlin quakes with fury. "You do not have a fucking clue what you've done, Aaron," she states. "Hell hath no fury and all that. I'm not your fool, or your bitch, anymore. You're gonna pay."_

"But why?" Logan says in a near-broken voice, one rather obviously masked with bravado. "Yes, Dad screwed her over and she wanted payback, but why take it out on Veronica?"

"I explained this before," I chided gently. "She wasn't taking it out on Veronica. She was taking it out on you."

_Caitlin wonders around Logan's party, a good deal more sober than her fellow party-goers. She runs into the host himself, and shows him her best grin. "Great party, Logan!" she compliments, and he shrugs it off._

_His eyes are drawn toward Veronica Mars, lying on a deck chair and pouting. "She still all broody? Because of Duncan ending it for like, no reason?" Caitlin asks him. _Can't imagine how that feels,_ she thinks, but doesn't say it aloud._

"_Yeah," Logan shrugs. "You know, I love her, but tonight she's being a total buzz kill."_

"_Get her wasted, then."_

"_V is a total downer of a drunk," Logan dismisses, but he pours a drink anyway. Then he pulls a small vial from his pocket, and they both stare down at it._

Uh, what the fuck? _Thinks Caitlin. "Dude, Logan, what are you doing?"_

"_GHB," he explains. "It'll get her to lighten up for a bit."_

_Caitlin looks confused. "Wait, isn't that like, a date rape drug?"_

_Logan looks offended. "No. Well, sometimes, but here – no way. She's Veronica, she'll be fine," Logan pours the vial into the drink, and walks over to give it to the girl, who accepts without reservation._

_Caitlin's eyes are drawn to Beaver Casablancas behind her, who is slouched against a wall. "Hey Beav," she greets, and he just grunts at her._

_Logan comes back. "Beav – Jesus, V's not the only downer drunk."_

"_Fuck you," Beaver automatically responds. "I have a killer headache right now, okay?"_

_Logan shakes his head. "You really don't get the point of being drunk, do you Beav?"_

"_Explain to me, would you?" the other boy replies, and they wander off together, leaving Caitlin alone with her thoughts._

"Caitlin saw what had happened, she got an opportunity. God-sent opportunity to get some payback on Aaron."

"I hate myself," Logan responded.

_Caitlin, now considerably drunker, to steel herself for the task ahead, comes across Veronica, laying unconscious on a deck chair. "Hey Veronica," she brushes a wisp of hair out of the comatose girl's face, who only grunts in her sleep._

_Caitlin sighs and, shaky on her feet, slowly drags Veronica to the closest guest room, the one near the kitchen. She looks around outside – she sees Dick being a drunk moron, no surprise there, and through a crack in the door of another guest room, she thinks she sees Logan and Beaver, caught in liplock. _Weird.

_She lays Veronica down on the bed, closes and locks the door. She gets found out, the whole plan backfires. She looks down at the sweet, innocent girl, thinking; _This is it. Payback. Nice and easy, nice and quick. Make her think Logan did, make the whole fucking world think Logan did it, then that's it, it all comes crashing down for daddy.

_Slowly, she spreads the girl's limbs out, first her arms, then her legs. She gulps, and leans down to Veronica's neck, softly kissing along the smooth skin. Veronica whimpers in her sleep, and Caitlin smiles._

"_Hey baby, it's okay," she mutters, hands finding the zipper of Veronica's turquoise dress. "I love you."_

Logan took in a deep breath, looking like he was on the edge of tears. "It's all my fault."

I shook my head. "No Logan, it's not all your fault. I mean, I guess it's at least partially your fault, for giving her GHB, but I think your dad and Caitlin are way more accountable than you."

Logan laughs bitterly, and lies back on the bed. "I dated her, you know. If she wanted to hurt us so bad, why freaking _date_ me?"

"The long con, I guess. She wanted to hurt everyone, so she was going to try and worm into your heart, then betray you, like Aaron did to her," I paused. "Maybe that's why she was with Chardo, you know, just to cheat on you."

He sighed. "You know, this makes it the second time Dad's done this with a girlfriend of mine."

"Well, you and I were split, and him and Caitlin were months before her and you," I corrected, but his point stood. "It is pretty weird though. Neptune and it's fucked up not-quite-incestuousness. I seriously think you couldn't draw a chart of it all that anyone could follow, it's so overcomplicated.

I sighed and drew myself up from the bed, returning the Caitlin tape to the cabinet. While putting it away, my eyes were drawn to another pair of initials: _CK._

"Okay. Ew," I deadpanned.

Logan too drew himself up to look at what I was seeing. "What is it?"

"I think your dad screwed my mom," I explained, and Logan bent down to look at the tape with the initials. "More of Neptune's fucked-upness."

Logan nodded. "Yeah. God, tell me we don't have to watch it and find out if it's really her," he said disgustedly, and I shook my head fast.

"No. _God,_ no. It's not that important, and besides, I really don't _want_ to make myself throw up all over you."

"Good," he said, and my eyes were then drawn to another one of the tapes. "Hey – this one's not labeled."

Logan shrugged. "Maybe it's just too new?"

"Except these are all in chronological order, and this one's like, in the Novembers," I explained. "That's kind of weird."

Logan sighed. "We _do_ have to watch that one and find out, don't we?"

I shrugged. "Sorry. If it's nothing, I totally promise to pay for the eye-burningness," I offered, and inserted the tape into the player.

I pressed play.

**

* * *

MYSTERY SPECULATION FORM**

_1) Who killed Veronica?_

_2) Why?_

_3) What's on the unlabeled tape?_

_4) Who gave Lilly Veronica's dairy?_


	12. The Girl Last Year

**Twelve: The Girl Last Year**

Logan and I were both relieved by not finding ourselves having to watch more sex. However, the yelling we actually saw on the tape, didn't imply anything better, even if it was less icky.

"_You come back here, Lynn!" Aaron screams at his wife. "You are going to listen to me. I am going to say what a mistake I made, bewitched by that girl. You are going to play the loyal, demure, forgiving wife, and in not so long, everything will go back to normal."_

"_Statutory rape, Aaron!" Lynn exclaims. "That's never going to just "go back to normal." And I'm gone."_

_She starts for the door, but Aaron grabs her arm roughly. "You're not going anywhere, bitch."_

"_And how do you plan to stop me?" she asks skeptically, and with a grin, Aaron emerges an object from behind his back – a glass ashtray. Lynn's face falls._

"_Remember this, Lynn? I don't think old Sheriff Mars would be too happy if he looked at this, would he?"_

_Lynn shakes her head, tears welling in her eyes. "No. No, Aaron, you can't. You wouldn't do that to me, to _Logan – _You helped me!"_

"_And now, I'm not, unless you do what I say. Don't underestimate what I can and will do. You screwed up Lynn – and now, I own you," he informs her smugly, and her face hardens._

"_No. You don't."_

_She walks out, and Aaron fumes._

I took in a deep breath as Logan sank back onto the bed, trying to understand. I checked the date on the video – November 13th. The day Lynn died.

I suddenly reached for my phone, and Logan looked up with an expression of confusion. "Lilly, what are you doing?" I indicated for him to shush with my hand.

"Hello, Van Lowe investigations."

"I need to speak to Vinnie."

His mother quickly transferred me, and I sighed. "Hello. Who is this and why didn't you give ma your name?"

"Vinnie. Quick questions," I started. "It's Lilly Kane. A few weeks ago, someone gave me Veronica Mars's old diary – the one talking about what Logan Echolls did to her," in the background, I saw Logan wince, but I brushed it off.

"Oh," he was barely even trying to affect surprise or confusion.

"Vinnie, did you give me that diary?"

He paused for a few seconds before admitting it. "Yeah. Although now I've heard about that Caitlin thing, I'm kind of confused. But still, I decided someone had to make the bastard pay for what he did – but I wasn't going to go against Aaron Echolls son myself. So I left it up to you."

I nodded. "Okay, the important bit – how did you get the diary?"

"Well, when I was tailing you, Mars was with you a lot. She left it there once, I was tempted by the idea of the real world of our good Sheriff. Then I read and realized what happened, well, I took it then."

"You were there because you were tailing me," I repeated. "You were tailing me for Lynn. And when you got the diary – did you give it to her?"

"I _showed_ it to her," he said uncomfortably. "I guessed she had the right to know what her son had done. Maybe that's a bit of why she jumped in the end, I don't know."

"Thanks Vinnie," I said quietly, and I hung up. Logan stood and looked at me, and I stared at him with heavy eyes.

"Lilly?" He asked.

"I know what happened," I whispered, barely paying attention to him. "I know what happened."

_Lynn is fumbling as she types a message on her son's cellphone. _Meet me at L and D's house. Let me explain.

_Veronica pulls her arms toward her as she walks across the pavement next to our pool. "Logan?" she calls out, voice breaking a little as she does so. "You said you could explain."_

"_I can't," Lynn says from behind her. "I can't explain. I just need to talk to you."_

_Veronica's eyes narrow at the woman. "So – what? Logan was going to talk, but then instead decided to send Mommie Dearest to do his dirty work for him?"_

_Lynn shakes her head. "I took Logan's phone, I sent that message. He doesn't know I'm here."_

"_So what do you want to say, Lynn?"_

"_Veronica, I'm sure you've got it wrong. Logan wouldn't do that. You can't go forward."_

_Veronica gasps at Lynn's nerve. "What, you can actually come here and tell me to keep my mouth shut?" she pauses. "I always thought you were nice, Lynn. Then again, I thought Logan was too."_

_Lynn shakes her head. "Do you expect me to apologize? He's my _son!"

"_Do you expect me to _care_?" Veronica asks in a vicious satire. "He's my rapist!" there are tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm gonna make him pay for it – just as soon as the thought of telling stops making me throw up."_

_Lynn grabs Veronica's arm. "No!" she yells. "I've lost everything. But you're not taking him away!"_

"_Everything?" Veronica's voice is tinged with hysterical disbelief. "What do you know about everything? 'Cause that's what he took from me!"_

_In a split second, Lynn reaches for the glass ashtray on the table. Veronica barely sees it coming before it connect with her skull, and she falls at Lynn's feet, dead._

_In the Echolls poolroom, Aaron smirks and opens the cabinet to collect the latest tapes. His grin falls when he realizes the tapes are already gone, and he swears under his breath._

"_Fuck. Lilly."_

"_Lilly!" Aaron charges into our home, bellowing. "Lilly I want those tapes back!"_

_It takes a few seconds before he registers that his wife is there, and more than that, the sheriff's daughter's corpse is lying in front of Lynn. "Oh my god," he mutters, and stares at Lynn, who whimpers._

"_Lynn!" He exclaims, and roughly grabs the ashtray out of her hands. "What did you do?"_

"_I... I had to. For Logan," Lynn whimpers, eyes still fixed to the dead girl. Aaron takes a deep breath, and leans down to take Veronica's phone._

"_Come on," he grabs his wife's arm. "Come on. Come on we have to go," he quickly leads her away, forcing her into his car._

_They drive back in silence, him breathing heavily and her near catatonic. When they arrive at the Echolls house, he's quickly throwing a white suit at her blood-soaked formed._

"_What- Aaron, what are you...?"_

"_It's Celeste Kane's," he clarifies. "Get the blood on it, we'll dump it somewhere. It'll point the finger at her, and she fucking hates Veronica anyway," he steps closer to Lynn, and kisses her on the forehead. "It'll be okay. I promise."_

_She nods, letting the blood get on the suit, and he grabs Veronica's phone._

"_Aaron, what are you-?" she asks with a twinge of panic in her voice._

"_Someone has to find the body."_

_I'm lying on my bed, in my room, reading a magazine; to be interrupted by the ring of my phone. I look down at it, to find Veronica's texted me: _I need to tell you something. I'm outside, by the pool.

_I wonder down in confusion, wondering if maybe V will finally tell me what's been up with her the last week. I arrive at the patio near the pool, eyes searching over the estate for her. "Oi, Veronica? Are you out here?"_

_In just a few seconds, I notice that she's lying flat out the ground. "Oh god!" I call out in fear and shock, running to my best friend. I grab her body._

"_Holy shit, Veronica!" I shake her a few times, desperate for her not to be dead, but all I accomplish is getting the blood from her head all over me. "No, no, no, Veronica, wake up! Please, come on, wake up! Wake up!"_

"No," Logan replied, tears brewing in his eyes. "No. Don't you say that. Don't you fucking _dare_ say that!" Logan was furious, shaking his head at me and gritting his teeth.

"Logan-"

"_Don't_!" he yelled, and I flinched. "My... My mom, she wouldn't," he said, but he didn't sound like he really believed it. "I mean, I knew my mom, you knew my mom, she couldn't kill Veronica, she wouldn't cover up something like this, she..."

"Loved you," I whispered. "Too much, I guess. After being with your dad for so long... guess she clung to what she had left," I shook with pain and rage. Rage that my best friend's murderer was dead, that I would have no justice.

Logan sank back onto the bed. "I didn't do anything wrong, you know?" he said with a mocking smile. "Beyond being a moron. Apart from that, I'm squeaky clean. I never touched her."

I nodded at Logan, and tentatively reached for his hand. "I'm sorry."

He suddenly burst into sobs – body-racking cries that broke my heart. I didn't the only thing I could possibly think of to do in that moment. I wrapped my arms around him, and told him the old, comforting lie – that it would be okay.

* * *

"_I don't think old Sheriff Mars would be too happy if he looked at this, would he?"_

"_No. No, Aaron, you can't. You wouldn't do that to me, to _Logan – _You helped me!"_

"_And now, I'm not, unless you do what I say. Don't underestimate what I can and will do. You screwed up Lynn – and now, I own you."_

"_No. You don't."_

Keith switched off the tape and his whole face crumpled. I bit my lip with sympathy. "I'm sorry, Keith."

"You figured it out," he told me with a small, appreciative smile, and I shrugged. Yeah, I had. "Thank you, for that."

I nodded. "She was my best friend. I had to do it," I paused. "What happens now, Keith?"

He sighed deeply. "Well, Lynn Echolls is dead – so there will be no trial. No punishment. We just... know."

"And where's the justice in that, right?" I asked. I shook my head. "God, it was just so _pointless._ It's not like Logan even did anything wrong. Jesus, I feel sorry for him..." I trailed off.

"Did you catch Caitlin yet?" I asked. "She's evil. And she's like, the _one_ person we can actually make pay for what happened to V."

"Not yet," Keith answered. "But believe me, I'm not going to let her get away. No way in hell."

"Good Dad," I replied.

"Yeah. I like to think so, anyway."

We both paused, waiting for something to say. He was the one to speak again first. "Lilly – have you forgiven me? For Celeste?"

"Not really," I answered quickly, and he showed an _"It figures"_ smile. "I'm never going to be okay with what you did. But then again, well, _non compos mentis_. You were looking for your own daughter's killer and you went kind of nuts. You should never have been on the case in the first place, really, but you're the only one around here even _near_ being a good officer," Keith shrugged at that. "I'm willing to let it go. To be the good, law-abiding citizen. But you really _can't_ expect me ever to trust you again."

Keith shook his head. "I'd be appalled if you would."

"Good," I replied, and stood to look out the window. "I want to fix it," I admitted. "I just wanna go back."

"Me too," he commiserated.

"But what's done, is done," I said heavily. "Veronica is still dead. Lynn and Aaron Echolls are still dead. There are still a lot of people in a lot of pain, including us."

"And we're just going to have to deal."

I smiled. "I'll see you later, Keith."

I walked out of the Sheriff's department, my head held high.

* * *

I wasn't really surprised to find my father at home with Duncan, and I welcomed him with a hug. "Hey Dad," I replied. "Donut called you over?"

He nodded. "I think what's left of this family should come together," he said. He looked away and let out a sigh. "I heard about Lynn Echolls, Lilly. We both did; it's been all over the news."

I nodded. "Yeah. I guessed it would be – famous dead actress killing someone and all."

"You figured it out," Duncan chimed in from the couch.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "Yeah, I figured it out. I mean, I guess I had to," I sat down next to my brother. "At least the fucking thing's finished now."

"Lilly-" Dad warned at my swearing, and it made me giggle.

"Wow. Someone criticizing me for swearing. Now _that's_ a blast from the past."

Dad smiled. "I'm glad I'm back, Lilly."

"I'm glad you're back too, Dad," I answered. "I think Donut would be glad you're back, but he like, seems to have something against talking, right now, so..."

"Lilly," Duncan rolled his eyes. "You know I'm glad he's here."

Dad smiled. "It had nothing to do with me," he said, so quietly I really wasn't sure we were meant to hear. But we did, and he continued in a normal tone of voice.

"I spent... so long, feeling so guilty. Because she had died because of me, because of the mistakes I made. And even after I realized Celeste was innocent, I still felt it would, in the end, come back to me. And now, it hasn't – I'm not quite sure how to feel."

"Relieved would be my guess," I paused. "You don't have to feel mad guilty anymore. Nor do I, really, since it turned out the woman I made kill herself was evil," I didn't tell them that, for whatever reason, that didn't quite alleviate all my guilt. "Now it's poor old Logan who has to carry that around."

"How was he? When he found out?" Duncan asked.

"Bad. He yelled. Then he cried. You know Logan."

Duncan leaned back against the couch. "He let this happen, you know."

"I know," I answered weakly. "Do you really think you have what it takes to hate him for it?"

Duncan shook his head, and I smiled.

"What's done is done," I told them, and Duncan raised an eyebrow.

"Lilly, you hate Shakespeare. You wanted to stab Macbeth to death with pointy objects."

I shrugged. "Whatever."

* * *

I went to bed that night, feeling somewhat... surreal. I finally had the truth, and I couldn't seek justice. It was... strange.

_I'm walking through the Neptune High gymnasium, which has clearly been prepared for a dance. A banner I cannot read is strung above a table carrying punch, and strobe lights flicker over the room. There's no music, however, and the floor is deserted._

_I blink to find myself face-to-face with a smiling girl in a soft pink dress, and I grin. "Hey V," I hug her. "You look good for a dead girl."_

_She shrugs. "Must be all the truth coming out," she answers, withdrawing from my embrace. "Does wonders for the complexion, you know."_

_I laugh out loud, and we sit on chairs at the side of the room. "You know," I start. "This still doesn't feel real."_

"_Well that's because it's a dream."_

"_No. I mean, like, the Lynn thing," I explain, and Veronica shrugs. "I can't believe she'd really do it."_

"_And yet you do."_

"_I'm a strange person."_

_We both pause, and I fidget with my dress. "You didn't trust Logan. He was one of your best friends, and you thought he would do that to you."_

_Veronica nods. "I know. And if I were alive, you'd probably be pissed about that. But the thing is, I'm not alive anymore. So, do you really think you can hold it against me?"_

_I shake my head. "Guess not. Although it would have been nice if you could have not gotten yourself killed."_

_She shrugs. "Like you said, Lilly. What's done is done."_

"_I still miss you."_

_She smiled sadly. "I know," and suddenly our attentions were called to the banner above the punch, now transformed into a projection screen. On it, we saw four happy teens, playing "I Never", laughing and having fun. Lilly, Logan, Duncan, Veronica – masters of the universe._

"_You got so ripped off," I told her, and her eyes fell back to me, away from the scene._

"_True image, Lilly. That's why you needed this so badly."_

"_You and your puns."_

_She laughs. "Don't forget it, Lilly. Don't forget me."_

"_How could I?"_

I woke up peaceful, calm, and rested. I hardly ever felt any of those emotions, so this was a good morning. Night. Whatever.

I sighed. It was done – I had closure. I knew what had happened to my best friend, and even if there was no justice to be had on her killer, I could deal with that. I had it. True image, right there in my head.

So I smiled, and I went back to sleep.

**END**


End file.
